Hi friends, welcome to part three of Confessions of a First-Time Author. This is the series where I’m spilling my guts out as to what it was REALLY like to write a book.
Have you ever seen this image floating around the internet?
It makes me laugh because it’s SO TRUE.
This was one of the big challenges in the book writing process, listening to what people think about your writing process. In fact, it got to the place where I’d do everything in the world I could do to dodge the … “Oh you’re writing a book?” conversations.
Because a lot of people think it’s just hanging out in your pj’s all day and rolling in the money. The hanging out in your pj’s is right but it’s because when you are on a deadline, sometimes you have to choose:
Writing over shower.
Yes, being a writer is a dreamy job. But it’s a hard job. One I think there are a lot of preconceived notions about.
And with his permission, I share this next part.
My husband was the hardest person to try to get to gain understanding about what this process was like. He was SUPER supportive but he’s an electrical contractor … he’s more of a left brain and he has only read one book in our entire marriage.
Words are just not his thing.
I will say though … because he is a man of very few words, when he does have them, they are good words.
But I think because he is the closest person to me and has watched me journey through this writing thing for years, I just assumed he’d be the most supportive person in the world.
However, the first few weeks of book writing season were MESSY in this house.
He just didn’t understand why I couldn’t just sit down and get my word count done in an hour or two each day. And there were some expectations that were unrealistic, for both of us.
Maybe 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit, might not have been the BEST topic to write about as a first-time author! Because you have to eat every word you put into a book.
I wanted to quit EVERYTHING.
My next book will be on peace and prosperity. [I’m kidding … kinda.]
So, I literally gave up trying to get him to understand.
But after several weeks of feeling like everything was falling apart, we sat down and had a very hard conversation … with each-other, with our pastors and even with a counselor.
And we were able to make some changes to get us through that season.
I won’t lie. It was hard. Messy. And there was nothing fun about this part of writing the book.
But, ultimately we didn’t give up.
Sometimes we have to fight hardest in the places we least expect to.
But those places are often the most important. And when we don’t give in to the temptation to give up … we will see the faithfulness of God.
So, when you start to pursue that dream with all your might, there will be places you least expect to find discouragement start to pop up. But hold tight and don’t be afraid to ask for wisdom from others.
People want to see you win, sometimes it just looks differently than we expected.
In the comment section today here on the blog I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you overcame discouragement from a place you least expected it!
8 Comments
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I know my comment doesn’t have anything to do what you’re asking but I just want to share this with you. When I listened to you teaching on the Conference Call Series, I would say, I wish she would write a Bible Study I could really learn a lot from her. I think you are amazing. I’m glad you did not give up. I can’t wait until your book comes out. I know it will be a great blessing to me.
Nicki – I love your honesty. It’s so rare to find people willing to share the messy parts of following our dreams.
Thank you for sharing and for encouraging us to do the same.
For me, someone who was once my biggest fan has become more of a on again off again spectator. It breaks my heart not to have her there cheering me on. However, I am learning (because God is so great at teaching me when I’m willing to give Him my wounded heart) that I cannot depend upon the fans to carry me through to the end. I have to depend on the One who has placed these dreams in my heart.
He is enough.
Love you friend and I cannot WAIT to read your book!
In the bathtub! I’ve been STUCK on the proposal…oh my word it’s intimidating! I was frazzled and strung out because I couldn’t get my elevator speech or my overview the way I wanted it. Yesterday I was sitting in the tub (it’s a GREAT place to pray, think, do OBS) and the words just came to me. I brought my notes out and tweaked it a little as I typed, but it was exactly what I had been trying to accomplish. I just needed to RELAX about it.
I think you rock!
Haven’t quite been an overcomer in the discouragement department. 😉
Too many ideas of what I want to do swimming around in my head and can’t seem to pinpoint the one thing I am called to do. Probably due to some discouragement?
Can’t wait to read your first book Nicki!
Nicki, I admire your honesty and your husband’s willingness to allow you to share what both of you have been through. It’s so hard for us to let people see us struggling, but I learn a lot from watching others going through the same things. It’s good to I’m not the only one who “doesn’t always have their act together” and why do we expect that anyway.
I find that when I just go do something else for awhile — take a walk, clean the house, chat with a friend– that ideas or a solution pops into my head. Sometimes I focus too much on a problem that if I just pray and let it be, God will speak to me in a different situation , usually when my body is busy but my mind is still. I love reading your writing and your teaching on conference calls. He has given you much to say and will help you say it. He wants that message out there!
Sometimes what what I am writing is very personal, the doubt, which comes in the form of procrastination for me, starts taking over. I’ll do anything but write what I know I need to write. To help with this, I figured out I need to write in a “safe place.” For me, this is my bedroom. Somehow taking my laptop upstairs in a place I automatically associate with relaxation makes all the difference. Similar to Christy’s bathtub idea I suppose. It’s all about getting yourself into a relaxed, creative state where you can write. 🙂
I’ve loved reading you blog and showing us ‘you’ – not the perfect person – but ‘you’…
Thank you!
Currnetly (cause it often changes) my biggest internal fight is that I did not cause my cancer, my sin did not cause my cancer, but that I should find it pure joy for my trial s and tribulations because it produces faith and perseverance. Of course, the struggles change daily. But I keep going back to this verse and thanking God for loving me and giving me daily strength no matter the issue of the day. God bless!
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