The Un-Threatened Woman

Posted by Nicki on May 15, 2013 in Uncategorized | 8 comments

Deep within all of our hearts is a longing to be valued at what we do. So it’s easy to understand why we frequently enter into the game of comparison in our minds.

And we all know comparison isn’t something we should do. But let’s face it; we are going to compare. And maybe a little comparison isn’t so bad.

When comparison starts to ruin us though is when we begin feeling like other’s gifts, talents and abilities somehow threaten us.
I saw this the other day in one of my daughter’s…

She was working super hard on a project but there seemed to be another girl who always did everything better than her. And my daughter found herself in a pool of tears of frustration feeling like she’d never measure up to this girl.
Several valuable moments of her day were wasted while she compared her abilities to this girl.

But this isn’t something just young girls wrestle through.

And if we don’t recognize the feeling of being threatened while comparing, the wasted moments can turn into days, then weeks, then months and years.

Yes, there’s a longing to be the best at the things we work hard for.

However, we must somehow accept that in the process of developing our gifts, talents and abilities there is always going to be someone who can do what we do better.

And I believe for every woman who struggles with comparison, there’s a woman deeper within us:

The Un-Threatened Woman

She is the woman who allows the gifts, talents and abilities of others to inspire her; not conspire against her.

She is the woman who stays in a posture of learning.

She is the woman who consistently cheers others on.

She is the woman who works hard at whatever she does.

And then one day,

She is the woman who has found her beautiful, unique and powerful rhythm. Her gifts, talents and abilities are able to fully develop because her time has been well spent.

Friend, I want to be this woman. And while I will continue to struggle through comparison, today I won’t let feelings of being threatened waste my time. I’m finding such power in this:

“Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward.For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.” -Hebrews 10:35

What about you?

Do you struggle with not letting comparison threaten you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments today…

Two Minute Tuesday

Posted by Nicki on May 7, 2013 in Uncategorized | 9 comments

Would love to hear your thoughts on this today in the comment section… Is it hard to step out of your normal social circles?

Two Minute Tuesday…it’s back!

Posted by Nicki on Apr 16, 2013 in Uncategorized | 5 comments

Here’s the link to buy tickets for this weekend:http://fulltimemom.org

The Right Light

Posted by Nicki on Apr 11, 2013 in Uncategorized | 5 comments

Not long ago I received an email from a long lost friend. I had missed our friendship terribly, thought of her frequently and hoped that one day our paths would cross again.

So, you can imagine how excited I was to hear from her.

We exchanged several emails back and forth catching up on each-other’s lives and reminiscing about days gone by.

She asked me what I “did” for a job. And I began to tell her a little bit about what I do with speaking and writing. My old friend isn’t a follower of Christ and so she was understandably a bit confused when I said, “I work for Jesus.”

And after I shared how God was using some of the broken places in my life to walk along side other broken people, she wrote back saying she had a hard time seeing me doing something like this.

I understood what she was saying but…it was hard to read those words.

Exchanging emails brought back all kinds of memories of the person I “used” to be. And the reality of where I am now and where I was when we were good friends is different.

I realized that most likely we wouldn’t be reconnecting on a regular basis and it made something inside me ache.

Sometimes people  can trigger a raw reminder of the person we were before God changed our lives. And its hard to know whether to move forward with a reconnection with someone.

I believe an important question we should ask ourselves about reconnecting with someone from our past is, “Can they see me in the right light now?”

Sometimes people may play a big part of our history but maybe not our destiny. 

The Stressed-Less Living Winner!

Posted by Nicki on Apr 8, 2013 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

Sorry I didn’t post this on Friday!

The winner is…..

Lisa Jamerson!

10 Things Every Working Mom Needs to Hear [pt 2]

Posted by Nicki on Apr 1, 2013 in Uncategorized | 36 comments

Today is part 2 of our mini-series “10 Things Every Working Mom Needs to Hear”. If you missed part 1, go here.

Stay tuned till the end because we’ve got an awesome giveaway today!

5. Be willing to say, “I need help.”

I thought when I started working more that I would be able to do everything I normally did. Laundry, kids, cleaning, cooking, writing, speaking… all of it. But I quickly found myself sinking.

So I went to my husband and told him something had to change very quickly. We spent some time looking through our budget and found a few ways to help like getting a babysitter when I need some extra time or hiring someone to help with a few things around the house.

A friend and I are also talking about doing meal doubling. We would each cook meals for our families and double the recipe to be able to give each other the meal. This would cut down on cooking a lot!

6. Days of discouragement are temporary.

Whether you’re a working mom or stay at home mom, days of discouragement are always going to be.

There will be days where you feel like no matter what you do, what you say or how you look at someone…it will be wrong.

7. Be willing to evaluate life frequently.

There are weeks where our schedule changes from day to day. I have learned to evaluate life frequently because I want to make the most of our time together. Sometimes this means putting certain opportunities to the side because it’s not what’s best for the entire family.

It also means being able to step back and see what is not working in our schedule.

For my youngest daughter this meant taking a break from gymnastics for a few weeks. I was making myself crazy trying to get her there every week. As hard as it was to make this decision, she wasn’t happy at first but is now looking forward to this summer where she can go to gymnastics camp.

8. Engage with friends as often as you can.

I have felt like a lot of my friendships have been struggling. And I realize it’s because of this season of life change. I won’t lie; I do miss frequent coffee and lunch dates with friends.

And I believe God has seen that ache in my heart…

A couple of weeks ago our 2 youngest daughters were at our church after school for a rehearsal for the weekend. I figured it would be a good time to run some errands so I headed across the street to a shopping center. While I was walking around I actually ran into a friend whose daughters were at the same rehearsal.

I felt this prompting on my heart to stop running errands and ask her to go grab a cup of coffee.

I’m so glad I did. It was the most refreshing hour I’d had all week.

God ordained that meet-up.

9. Don’t let the things you love slip to the side.

This is so important.

Carving out time to do the things you love whether its art, photography, writing, projects around the house or yard work is so essential. As you do the things you love in life, your soul will be refreshed.

10. Find a way to be spiritually encouraged frequently.

This is hard because time is so short. But its possible. Whether its through a Community Group, Sunday School class or Bible study… God has an encouraging community just for you.

And here’s where our amazing giveaway comes in today.

My friend Melissa Taylor leads these amazing online Bible studies through Proverbs 31 Ministries. I’ve been a part of it for several months now and this community of ladies [and even a few men ☺] is simply incredible.

I love it because its so convenient and its a work at your own pace study.

Melissa’s next study is on Stressed Less Living by Tracie Miles.

PERFECT book for every woman, no matter what season of life.

Melissa has generously offered to give one copy of the book away here on the blog AND the conference calls that go along with the study!

You can find out all the information about the Bible study by clicking here.

In keeping with our theme today… to enter the giveaway, please leave your name and the best idea to help a working mom!

I’ll announce the winner on Friday April 5th.

10 Things Every Working Mom Needs to Hear [part 1]

Posted by Nicki on Mar 29, 2013 in Uncategorized | 8 comments

Happy Good Friday friends!

I can’t believe how many amazing ladies entered the Unglued Devotional giveaway! I really wish I could give each of you a copy.

The winner is: Amanda VanStedum!

But we have plenty more at the Proverbs 31 office if you’d like to purchase a copy. Here’s the link: http://www.proverbs31.org/store/product/unglued-devotional/

I’m really excited about this two-part series on the blog starting today called, “10 Things Every Working Mom Needs to Hear”. On Monday I’ll post the 2nd part of the series AND I have a really amazing giveaway to go with it… you won’t want to miss it.

1. We must find our own rhythm.

What works for others may not work for you.

This was a hard lesson to learn when I first started back to work.

I tried going to a boot camp very early in the morning because it was what a lot of working moms I knew were doing to get in their exercise. But I am not a morning person and I found each morning I went to boot camp left me feeling very rushed, flustered and exhausted before the day began.

So, as hard as it was to quit…I did. And I’ve found other ways to get in exercise like taking walks or doing short videos at home. While this might not be the BEST workout possible…it’s helping me find my rhythm.

2. Guilt is a tool not a resource.

Let me explain.

As a working mom time is often very short. There are only a few quality hours I get to spend with my girls. Its very easy to let guilt drive my responses and reactions towards my kids and their behavior. I found myself “giving in” a lot more times than I should and it led to some unhealthy behavior in one of our daughters.

But I have learned that guilt is a tool the enemy of our souls uses to distract, discourage and deplete us as followers of Jesus. Guilt can so easily become our resource for the way we react. But as we learn to identify the guilt, we can more easily not allow it to control reactions.

3. Rest is vital.

Working mom or not, it is very easy to go, go and go. But a few months ago I listened to this message  by Pastor Robert Morris. It challenged me and changed me.

After I let that message soak in, I’ve never thought of rest the same.

4. Planning is the power.

For everything.

But in our house especially meal planning.

I’m about to confess something to you… so no judging ok?

The first month I went back to work I could not figure out where on earth my entire paycheck went for that month.

Since life was busy, I knew we had spent a little more on eating out. But I was not prepared for what my husband showed me.

He sat down and added up every penny we had spent on groceries and eating out. Are you ready for this? Our budget had gone from around $800/month to OVER $1400 for the month.

I’ll wait while you gasp. I did too.

I KNEW that we had to do something. That Sunday night I sat down and created a meal plan for the entire week. This helped a lot.

But this area is still a little bumpy for me so if you have ideas, I’d love to hear them.

5. Be willing to say, “I need help.”

I thought when I started working more that I would be able to do everything I normally did. Laundry, kids, cleaning, cooking, writing, speaking… all of it.

But I very quickly found myself sinking.

I talked to my husband and shared with him that something had to change very quickly.

We spent some time looking through our budget and found a few ways to help like getting a babysitter when I need some extra time or hiring someone to help with a few things around the house.

That’s it for part one of this series…I’d love to hear your suggestions and thoughts. I love learning from other women and hearing what works for YOU. Leave a comment and come back Monday for the rest!