Nicki Koziarz

Within each of us is a desire to know one another fully; the good, the bad and the ugly. We hope for relationships in which we can completely be authentic but find ourselves aimlessly trying to find them.

Do such places really exist?

I find myself rejecting the bad and the ugly of people while I embrace the good.

In the midst of a heated conversation…I bared through the quick stabs, the false judgments and the disappointed-driven statements. But as soon as the conversation was finished, I wanted to delete this person’s phone number, un-friend them on Facebook and wholly walk away from the relationship.

I ashamedly admit… I quit people more quickly than I should.

Tears fill my eyes as I write that statement… and something stirs in my soul; a need for a bigger place for grace.

A place for grace isn’t about the false expectations we have for people. It’s not about a soul that will never ache from harshly spoken words or a life never disappointed by someone again.

It’s a place where there is a deep longing to love people as though Jesus himself loves them through us…the wide-open space in our souls; to give grace because we have received grace.

For some life is about being right, proving points and pointing out the faults of others. These virtues will seem to carry for …a moment.  But in the place for grace, misunderstandings and unmet expectations will become moments of speaking life and giving hope.

I get how we lose sight of our focus but may we be reminded that failures are a part of the spiritual training process. We can stay frustrated with people or we can allow the exercise of grace to fuel our reactions.

The place for grace will empower each of us to have the hard conversations when agreed expectations are not met but in a way that honors God and one another.

I am challenged today to live in a place where the picture is of grace is a little more clear. Hebrews 12:15 teaches us as embrace God’s grace for ourselves and others, then we can more easily let go of the things that crowd out grace in our hearts: pride, anger, bitterness and rivalry.

Here are 3 suggestions to help us have room for grace today:

1.       Try to understand the circumstances of life for other people. You never know what someone is going through.

2.       Assume the best of someone who disappointed you. 75% of misunderstandings come from false assumptions.

3.       Choose words carefully. Words bring life or death to a soul. Think things through before reacting in anger.

I’d love for us to create community today and share ways we can give and receive grace more freely, click the “comments” above and share your thoughts.

The other day I had lunch with a friend of mine. We were exchanging some ideas about ministry, writing, speaking and leadership. Mid-conversation she looked at me and said, “Nicki, so how do you do it all?”

Immediately, I felt sick to my stomach…did she really think I was ”doing it all”? 

Just that morning I had to cut a giant blob of dried ketchup out of one of my daughter’s hair. Another daughter had gone to school with a pair of dirty socks on [where on earth do all the socks go]. No one’s beds had been made. Dinner was going to be something through the drive-thru [there goes our 100 days of Real Food Challenge] and I reached an all time low a few days prior when I FORGOT to pick up my girls from school.

Seriously.

I am “that” mom. The mom on the teacher’s list to send multiple reminders about projects, the mom who forgets to send her kids lunches and the mom who needs…grace.

I don’t do it all.

I can’t do it all.

I’ve accepted “all” is not going to be done.

So I looked at my friend and said, “I don’t do it all but I’m doing my best.” She suddenly had a sense of relief on her face.

Maybe today you are a mom who needs to hear this…you are doing better than you think you are.

I know sites like Pinterest make us think that everyone’s house is spotless and beautiful. Mommy blogs may make us feel like we aren’t doing enough creative projects with our kids. And many parenting books make us feel inadequate and hopeless as we gaze into the future.

My kids misbehave. We don’t eat perfect meals. My husband and I argue… and approximately one hour a week my house is totally clean.

Each day I am finding a greater need to camp my heart out under the scandalous grace of God.

Hebrews 13:9 tells us we need to strengthen our hearts with God’s grace. Grace is defined as something we have yet don’t deserve. I am learning to accept God’s grace in our chaotic life. As moms we can fret over all the things we are doing wrong or we can trust in this Truth from God.

I will never be able to do it all but when we give God our soul’s best, He gives us a spirit of rest. Learning this is hard and I still struggle…

After lunch with my friend that day, I headed to pick my girls up from school. When my youngest got into the car, I immediately noticed a HORRIFC smell coming from her. I sniffed her from head to toe and realized the smell was coming from her book bag. Fumbling through the bag, I looked at the side pocket and noticed this…

 

Gross, gross, gross…a banana peel from a week ago.  I was mortified and couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed this as I shooed her off to the bus that morning. But instead of writing a formal note of apology to the entire Kindergarten for my foul-smelling child…I just sighed and took a hearty dose of God’s grace. So humbling yet so freeing at the same time.

Grace, for the moms who don’t do it all…

Hi friends.

I’m so excited about today’s blog post! I’ve been reading Kelly’s Korner blog for a few years now, love it and love her. I’ve always enjoyed the Show Us Your Life link-up parties, but honestly, I think I’ve only participated…once.

But, when I saw the success stories come in from her SUYL Singles edition, I knew if she ever hosted it again I HAD to participate. Not for me…I’m very married. There’s a special friend in my life though who is simply amazing but still waiting on the right guy to come into her life.

So if you are a guy in or near the Charlotte, NC area, I’ve got a GREAT girl for you to meet!!

She’s 100% wife material. She’s beautiful. She’s got a heart of gold. She’s fun. She’s optimistic. And…she’s a woman who loves her Jesus.

I am thrilled to introduce to you….Katie.

Katie is 28 years old, almost 29. She has an amazing job [that she can tell you about when she meets you! ]. She loves animals, especially dogs.

This girl loves her Starbucks too. You will frequently find her hanging out with friends, laughing and sharing life together at the Starbucks.

She is an aunt to two sweet little nieces. She loves kids and wants to have her own family one day. Side-note…my three girls adore Katie, they all three think she will be an amazing momma!

 

Katie is a southern girl, who enjoys listening to country music and going to concerts.

But most importantly, Katie is a woman who loves God and its important that the man she dates loves God too. She attends Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC and is very active there. She serves as a co-leader to her community group and puts together outreach projects for the group to do. She has a BIG heart for God, the Church and her community.

Some other things that Katie is looking for in a guy are:

-Family orientated

-Has good goals in life

-A sense of humor

-An open heart to community

Just a few more tidbits about Katie:

-Her favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption

-Her favorite restaurant in Charlotte is Trios [good first-date option! ]

I can’t say enough good things about Katie! She really is an amazing woman who will make someone very happy in life. It’s an honor to have her in my life and I know that there is just the right guy out there for her.

Leave a comment below if you are interested in meeting Katie! Or, you can email me at nicki@nickikoziarz.com.

A few weeks ago I was at a stoplight and saw to the left of me a man sitting on a bench. His clothes were ruffed up, his hair was a mess and he had what seemed to be his lunch spread out.

I took a deep sigh and said, “That poor homeless man.”

My husband looked at me and said, “Do you know that man is homeless or are you just assuming?”

Ouch.

He was right. Even though I was “sympathetically” assuming this man was homeless, I had no grounds to make this assumption.  I felt horrible and said to my husband, “You’re right. I don’t know his story.”

Over the past few days I have been asking God to show me what it looks like to assume the best of someone. I’ll be honest; sometimes this is difficult.

I’ve been hurt by the assumptions others have made about me. As I’ve tried to climb through a past that often haunts me, I hate running into people who knew me “back then”. I want so badly to tell them everything God has done with my story, but something seems to hold me back.

I fear judgment, condemnation and looks of shame.

Perhaps it is easier for us to just assume than ask a person their story. But there is a craving in my soul, a longing, to understand others rather than drawing misconceptions.

I trust the hurt I’ve had in my life will help me love others in a way that represents Jesus well.

“It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.”- Psalm 119:71

And so…

I assume the best of the person who challenges things I say; they are in a season of growth too.

I assume the best of my husband when he gets home late; work was difficult.

I assume the best of an email un-responded; they need time to think.

Today I am challenged to let Truth have its way in me. I’m assuming of others the way I’d want them to assume about me. And, I’m leaning in to the story of your life the way I’d want you to lean into mine…

I’m learning what it means to assume…the best.

What kind of foolish do you want to be?

When I hear the word “foolish”, I’m drawn to the story of Noah, a man passionate about the pursuit of obedience…despite looking like a fool.

In Genesis 6, God speaks to Noah about the greatest flood that was going to ever occur [ 6:12]. He instructed Noah to build a massive ark [6:14-17], to bring his family [6:18] and two of every creature [6:20] on board.

I imagine the mockery made of Noah in his community would have been painful to watch. People thought Noah had lost his mind. What kind of a fool would build a giant boat and load up all those smelly animals, while there was not a rain drop in sight?

Noah appeared awfully foolish. Until…those dark rain clouds rolled in. Until…it rained and rained and rained. Until…water covered the entire earth.

Noah inspires me but obedience like his challenges me.

A few years ago I listened to a well-known author share a story about a book she had written. The sales of the book took off very quickly. A few weeks into the release of the book, another author wrote her an honest email. It said, “I knew I was supposed to write that very same message in your book. God gave it to me, same verses, same points…everything. I disobeyed God and put off writing that book and He gave the message to you.”

In the regret of disobedience of not writing that book the author felt…foolish. As I listened to this story, I began to think of all the opportunities of God’s plans I had missed out on because of disobedience. In my own regrets, I too felt foolish.

Truthfully, God doesn’t need to use us to accomplish anything. He’s God; sovereign, powerful and mighty…with or without us. But, He wants to use us. He’s given each of us gifts, talents and a great purpose in Him.

The painful reality is, if we don’t obey God…we will miss out.

The pursuit of obedience is hard. Along the way we may lose friends, people may mock us or call us crazy. But ultimately, we will have to choose: obedience that may look foolish to others or regrets that will make us feel foolish later on.

What kind of foolish do you want to be?

Back in December, I came across a food-blog that has turned my ‘lil world upside down.

It’s called 100 days of Real Food.

My initial thoughts were that this was interesting, but I felt like this lifestyle might be a little extreme. However, the next morning I was making my girl’s lunches and they looked like this…

-White bread with Peanut Butter

-Granola bars

-Applesauce

-100 calorie Snack pack cookies

-100 calorie Snack pack chips

-Capri-suns

I then realized…in our seemingly “healthy” lunch, there was  NOT ONE piece of “Real Food”. And my friends, this is how my girls have eaten lunch almost every.single.day.

My girls, the Processed Food Princess’s.

Feeling a little guilty, I went back to the blog 100 days of Real Food and began doing some more research. I spent hours  reading articles and watching videos on how our food is processed and made.

Where have I been? I had NO CLUE the cruelty that many animals face and the absolutely disgusting ways large companies are manufacturing our food. For a few days, I was in shock.

Then, I really began to think through some changes we needed to make…immediately.

But, here were my concerns:

#1 TIME – Processed food is fast and raising three girls, working, church/ministry and my husband’s business take up pretty much all our time. How would I ever figure out how to make changes with the time we have?

#2 MONEY – I hadn’t shopped organics before but I had heard it was expensive.

#3 THE PROCESSED FOOD PRINCESS’S – They are so picky and skinny already, I was worried this might make it worse. I also need to add my husband into this category because well, he’s difficult to feed too.

Plus, did I really have the energy to deal with their whining about food?

I wasn’t sure.

December ticked away and it was time to make New Year’s goals and plans. After a lot of consideration I decided, we were going to take the challenge. I went to my husband and my girls and told them the news. They cheered, clapped and shouted for joy! [wink] Not so much.

There were tears [no joke], questions and non-supportive opinions.

This was going to be a battle.

While I respect 100 days of Real Food’s commitment to go at it 100% right away, I knew this wasn’t going to work for our family. Plus, I needed to learn more…I’ve been living in a food hole.

So, we are easing into this. We started January 1 and are now on day 16. There’s been some failures along the way but also some victories.

Immediate changes were:

-Organic meats, and eggs [we haven't gotten into milk yet...I'm still having a hard time swallowing $6 a gallon for milk.]

-Organic fruits and veggies [I have a post coming up soon on which ones you should buy and which ones you can skip out on.]

-Capri-suns…gone.

-Processed snacks…gone.

Changes in progress:

-Finding breakfast foods that fit, are likable, and don’t take a lot of time to prepare

-Eating out

-Coffee [for me, this week I've tried no creamer, just milk...still adjusting]

-Time [this is still the biggest struggle]

-Money [I HAVE to figure out how to do this more cost effectively]

-Learning [still clueless on a lot of things]

Later this week I’ll share some more of what’s working and what isn’t working. Maybe you all can help us work through this.

Yesterday, I took my first ever attempt at home-made bread and home-made granola bars. They were a success so I wanted to share the recipe’s.

 Homemade Granola Bars

1/2 cup of Crunchy PB [organic]
1/2 cup of Honey or Agave sweetener
Melt them together in a large pan
Stir in 4 tablespoons of Organic Applesauce
Add 3 cups of Organic Oatmeal and 1 cup of Organic granola
I did add a few chocolate chips to make my people happy

Put the mix into a greased baking dish and bake at 325 for 25 minutes. Let cool and then cut into shape you want.

 Homemade Bread

4 cups of King Arthur Organic Unbleached Bread Flour

2 envelopes RapidRise Yeast

2 tsp. salt

1 1/2 cups water

1/4 cup of Milk

1/4 cup of Honey or Agave

3 tsp Real Butter

1/2 cup of Bob’s Red Mill Oat Bran

Mix 2 cups of flour, yeast and salt in a large mixing bowl. In the microwave heat water, milk, honey and butter until very warm [about two minutes.] Slowly add to flour mixture while mixer is on slow speed. [NOTE: the mixture started to climb up the mixers so I had to frequently stop and scrap it down .] Add 1/2 cup of the flour and Oat Bran and continue to beat slowly. Keep adding remaining flour and bran.

Place into a greased bread pan, cover with a paper towel [or is there something else you are supposed to cover it with? LEARNING.] Allow the bread to rise 1 hour. It will double in size…freaked me out at first.

Preheat oven to 375. Bake 45 minutes on lower rack. Remove and let cool.

 

 

Happy Tuesday friends!

I hope you will forgive me for not having this post up yesterday, life just kinda came in and swept over the day and the blog just never made it.

I’m sorry!

I hope you had a good weekend and are enjoying 2012. I love reading all the goals that were left for the giveaway of Trusting God! So many of you are motivated to be in God’s word more and that is truly a great goal.

So the randomly drawn winner is…

Nancy Wright!

Please email me at nickikoziarz@yahoo.com with your address.

But, for everyone else, you are a winner too. Because I have an extremely exciting invitation.

My church is hosting a 12-day revival!

The speaker line-up is phenomenal! You can click here to read all the details of who is going to be there. Today, I wanted to personally invite each of you!

And I know what you are thinking right? I’m in Charlotte, NC and you are…???

But, thanks to technology and the generosity of  Pastor Furtick, everything is going to be streamed LIVE online each night.

This is going to be epic. God’s getting ready to do revive us! I hope you will consider joining us. The hash tag on twitter is #codeorangerevival, there are already lot’s of people getting excited about this life-changing event!

But today, I’d also like to know something about you…have you ever been to a revival? What was it like? Do you remember the preachers and what happened?

Leave a comment sharing your experience, I can’t wait to read about it. Let me know if you are going to be apart of the revival too, I want to begin praying for you!!

I was so honored when my friend in ministry Gwen Smith asked me if I would review her ministries new devotional, Trusting God.

For sure I will!

I love Gwen, she’s super amazing [and gorgeous!] and I’ve never met Sharon Jaynes or Mary Southerland but I’m sure they are amazing too.

So the day this devotional showed up in my mailbox, I was anxious to dig through it. I loved the cover, so beautiful and it really captures the message of this devotional.

The devotional is divided up into twelve weeks, with six days of material to read. On day 6 of each of the weeks there’s an entry called, “Now It’s Your Turn.” This is a space filled with great thoughtful questions, and a place for writing responses. [LOVED this aspect.]

What a great way to kick off the New Year by making time with God a priority. This devotional is a great way to carry you through the next few months and I highly recommend it.

The devotional titles are creative, the Truth’s weaved in are inspiring and this devotional will leave you feeling challenged to pursue God more.

Added bonus? You can do this devotional with your friends, sister or even an online community.

And I’ve got some exciting news for you…

I’m giving away a copy of Trusting God today on my blog! Yay for free stuff.

All you have to do is click the links above to check out the GIG ministry and then pop back over here and leave a comment telling me one of your goals for the New Year.

If you tweet, facebook or mention this giveaway on your blog I’ll add in TWO entries for you! The winner will be announced first thing Monday morning.

 

Today I’m blogging at Crosswalk, I would love for you to click here to read that post and share your thoughts.

But I also wanted to share a few of my favorite Christmas moments.