Ugh this conviction thing……..it really gets ya going at 6am!!! This morning I’m in 1 Corinthians 1:1-9. My oh my….I’ve always said I will be honest so here I go…..I’m not the greatest at giving my husband affirming words, nor is he with me. I have been so convicted of this once again this morning. It’s just not a good feeling to know that once again there is an area in my life I’ve really got to work on. Won’t it be so awesome one day to read my blog and for me to say, “Guess what? I’ve finally got something right!” Kris and I have HUGE communication issues. Like I could say to him, “I think that we should do this…” he will take it as, “Well, you said to do this…” He also always takes a “maybe” as a “yes”. Many days we will look at each other and say, “Did we really have that conversation or are you making that up?” I don’t know who is right or who is wrong but I do know that we both need to work on building each other up rather than blaming each other for everything. I think we do that because we are both the babies in our families, and isn’t that what the youngest always do, they blame everyone else for everything?
But I could go on and on about how crazy our communication is in our marriage, or I can simply tell you my heart….I’m just convicted that no matter how hard it is for me to say, “Way to go Kris!” I need to. Even though, I most likely will never hear those words from him, I need to give them to him, and often. I’m great at pumping the kids up, that’s not hard, but why is it so hard for me to affirm Kris? I think I know the answer….and it’s not good…the truth is that deep down in my heart I think I’m quite jealous of Kris. He gets to have the career he chose, he gets to play basket-ball, he gets to run whenever he feels like it, he really has no cares around this house or with the kids, he gets to drive in the car by HIMSELF =), I guess I feel like I have more of the “yucky” jobs than the good ones and I guess I feel like my life just isn’t as “entertaining” as his. He likes the guys he works with (even though i don’t care for them) He has fun at work, he goes out to lunch, He’s accomplished things through running and getting different licenses, he’s been to school. He’s done a lot in his short life. I feel like I’m always behind.
But oh my, God has convicted my heart once again today. But I can see that this isn’t something I’m going to accomplish in one quite time! I’m really going to have seek out victory in this area. But here’s where I’m going to start….today I’m going to find ONE thing that I could really praise Kris about. No matter how hard it’s going to be, I’m going to do it and tomorrow I will report to you what it was! Hopefully he won’t read this blog today so he won’t know what I’m up to! =) There’s a good saying to go along with this today, “We’re building up or tearing down In everything we do; Are you on the construction gang or the wrecking crew?” Don’t you find it amazing how quickly they can tear down a whole building, they can do it in a matter of minutes, but oh to build that building took months, endless hours of careful construction. And that’s what it will take from me, endless words of affirmation, building up each day and in the end I will see the fruits of this labor.
So the girls are home today for a snow day, even though the snow has not yet hit the ground!! =) They are calling for it to get really bad later on in the day. Taylor is going to be so disappointed, they were going to the circus today at school and Kris was going to be driving the bus and going with her.(One day that will NOT be cool to her, but for now it is!) So instead she gets to stay home and organize dresser drawers!! Woo hoo! She’s going to be so excited. I was so upset with BOTH of those girls yesterday as I went in their rooms to put clothes away and I saw their dresser drawers. Oh my…….Taylor’s is not as bad at Hopie’s. I think that child has a walking tornado on her, WHEREVER she goes a mess is soon to follow. I remember Taylor being that way when she was four, so hopefully persistence with Hope will pay off in the end. She amazingly had an awful stomach ache when it was time to put clothes away yesterday and I’m sure it will still be there this morning as she has more to do today!
We still aren’t sure what we are going to do about our living situation. Things changed drastically when I found out I didn’t get that job. So now we are just praying and trying to figure things out. Well, I’m more like trying to figure out what it is God wants me to do. I did actually thank God for not giving me that job. I just know that they way he closed that door, it just wasn’t the right situation. And He has provided in a big way this week for us! I really would love to get an eBay store up and running and as soon as we get a new digital camera I think I’m going to give it a try. I’ve always heard that you should do what you love and I love making hair bows! The money isn’t the greatest, but I really love doing it, and you never know what could happen!
Well, I have just gone on and on this morning, no kids to get up and ready for school so it’s an easy morning. Thanks for reading and listening to my heart! Have a blessed day!
