Last night I was sitting outside just soaking up God’s beauty. I found myself just talking to God about a lot of things…….particularly what He wants me to do next with this bible study. I’ve hit I guess a writer’s block or a not hearing anything block (if that’s a term). And I said to my sweet Lord last night…….God, how I am supposed to discern your voice from the many others I hear all the time? I’m sure you may be able to relate to this…….You “feel” something, you totally “KNOW” it’s God and you feel that it’s exactly right on………and then it’s not. And I was thinking, How on earth am I EVER going to be able to get it right Lord? There have been so many times I have felt that and I have been so wrong. I guess discernment isn’t my gift!!! =)
Now, I will say this……..we are going to look at a house on Thursday that could possibly work…….but that deep voice inside me is saying, “It’s not it Nicki, I’ve got something else.” BUT, I’ve also hear that voice say to me, “That’s IT!! That’s The one!!!” and it turns out the house has like a million things wrong with it! So we will pursue anything that God lays before us…….anything that He shows us.
Well, as I was pondering this I thought……..that’s what this is all about. It’s about taking steps in so many different directions (of course under the authority of God) and just waiting to see what happens. I have to be obedient and trust God to show others (especially this realtor that I DON’T LIKE see, I don’t have to like everyone!) what are the right and wrong things for us to do. I feel like in situations like this, God has always used others in my life to show me His promises.
As I’ve thought about taking this study to our Ladies Ministry person, the enemy sure has knocked me down……..”You’re not ready for that, what are you thinking?” And maybe I’m not ready, I still feel like God is saying to me I’d better get some of this stuff (particularly my weight) under control before I step it up like that. I’m not saying God cannot use anyone who has weight issues…….but for me personally, the REASON I have weight issues is because I allow food to fill in where only God should be. So, it’s a huge struggle. We all have our “things”, that’s just mine.
So I took Mrs.Holly’s advice yesterday and did one thing to change my ways…….we went to the Y last night so the girls could go to their exercise class and I could go run. It’s been a long time since I’ve ran, so about 20 minutes was all I could handle. Plus it’s so much harder to run on the treadmill than the streets! But, it was a step…..and it relieved a lot of stress. So, I think this morning we will go back so I can do a little more. I find when I exercise it puts a lot in balance…….food, emotions, hormones…….One day at a time……one step at a time.
I’m ready for that pool to open up! It’s open on the weekends but not during the week until June 9th. The y is awesome b/c I can put Kennedy in the childwatch and take the other two out to the pool. We’ve also been doing these Summer Bridge activities and the girl’s are doing great. Except, I accidentally bought the wrong book for Taylor so she’s actually doing third grade work instead of second! oops!!! Oh well, she’ll just be that much more ready. The thing that’s scary is that she’s breezing through the work!! It’s new stuff to her but once I explain it, she’s flying away! And she’s reading almost one Chapter book a day! Oh my!! Hope……….we’re still trying to write our “e’s” the right way. For some reason in pre-school they allowed her to write them wrong so now I’m having to REALLY get on her about it. The girl’s also have many chores each day…….it actually helps me a lot. They enjoy getting it done and normally I offer a small reward like a Popsicle if they can get it done in the allotted time. (usually 15 minutes)
So they keep me busy, which is good. It would be nice to have more time to write this bible study and deeply study, but I realize that the fall is only a few short months away and then I will have my few hours of peace each day. So what are you doing to keep busy this summer? Share your thoughts if you’d like! It’s always good to know what other mom’s are up to!! Well, we’re off to the Y, after I get everyone dressed ugh…….=)
Walking by Faith and NOT by sight,
~Nicki
2 Comments
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Good morning girl.
Hope your time at the y was good.
I’m going to have to figure out a way to exercise and take care of my father-in-law. I agree with you- when I do exercise I feel so much better.
Way to go on working on the Bible study.
Most of the ones I have taught have been by other women. Although we have studied Exodus and one year I just taught on what God was teaching me. Another year I handed out paper and gave them a week to let me know what they were interested in. I loved this because I love doing research.
Anyhoo–we won’t have too much on our schedule this summer.We have a conference in about two weeks in Texas and then another one at the end of the summer in N.C. I will start preparing for the on in N.C. after the one in Texas.
I know what you mean about not liking the relater. The one who got us into this house bothered me.
You have a great day.
Keep listening for the voice of the Lord. And don’t look back.
I look at the will of God as a river running through my life. Let me see if I can explain without a diagram……The strongest part of the current running slap dab down the middle of that river is the part of God’s will for our lives that we don’t have to think about….spending quality time with Him, praying, loving Him with everything in us, praying, praying, praying, going to church, praying, giving our tithes and offerings, praying, loving our neighbor, praying and all the other things that scripture tells us to do and not to do……did I mention praying? Some days (weeks, months) we’re on top of our game and we’re pretty much smack in the middle of that river where the current is the strongest and taking us with it. Other days (weeks, months) we might lose our focus a bit (skip a few days of quiet time, get lazy in our prayer lives, snap at our husbands, choose to do something our way and not God’s way etc.) and find ourselves on the outer edge of the current, still moving in the same general direction, but at a slower speed. The further we get outside the middle of that river, the slower the current. Have you ever stood on the edge of a river and noticed a leaf floating outside the current, near land? I’ve noticed that it can get so far away from the current that it will start floating upriver. At some point it will usually catch the current again and continue on it’s course in the right direction (afer having to repeat a span of distance that it had previously covered), but other times it gets snagged on land and never rides the river all the way out. Our job is to stay as close to the center of that current as we can by doing the things we already know as God’s will for our lives, the things we don’t have to guess about. As we do that, the river will take us where we are supposed to go. God knows how much you want His will for your life. He knows how you worry about finding yourself outside of His will. He doesn’t have a sadistic quality in Him. He won’t stand by with His hands crossed and watch you “mess up” to the extent that it alters His plan for you anymore than you would do it with your own children. As much as we love our own kids, he loves us so much more. Just stay as close to the center of that current as you can and God will take care of the rest.
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