I know where I'm headed

This morning I see some awesome things, in these precious few words that the Lord has shown me. As I press on through the book of John I see more and more of Christ’s heart revealed to me in a way I never knew. Truly amazing……..I love the example as a leader that Jesus shows me. I love his confidence, his plain bluntness (if that’s a word), I just love the way he tells it like it is. He is NEVER afraid of stepping on toes, and yet his message is still filled with love, joy, peace and hope. Wow, isn’t that what everyone’s message should continually be?

I have to confess something, and it’s something I beginning to understand……….through my life I’ve never been one to have tons and tons of friends. I have many acquaintances but usually the Lord blesses me with one or two awesome friendships and that’s it. I lost many friends when I got pregnant with Taylor, and ever since then, I’ve always had the struggle of finding a group that I fit in with……..most people my age are just on baby number 1, or just getting married…..a place I’m not at anymore, but then I’ve often felt that when I’m around older people they feel awkward around me b/c of my age………I don’t know……..possibly something I could be making up in my head……I’m just telling you how I feel at times, stay with me, I’m going somewhere with this! Of course I have people that I e-mail and talk to on occasion……….but at more times that not, I find myself alone………especially here at my mom’s house (the neighbors aren’t very friendly or young!) I’ve often wondered why? Am I not friendly? Am I not a hospitable person? Do I keep myself to busy with the girls that I fail to dive into new friendships?………..even this week at Hope’s pre-school I saw something that made me go what?………The director came up to me and says, “I’ve heard somethings and I’m sorry, and I hate that your moving to TEXAS”……..I looked at her like, what???? What on EARTH are you talking about?? I said, I’m not moving to Texas and nothing is wrong…….But, once again I saw, that people who “act” like they are friendly perhaps really aren’t………they are just gossips, just trying to get information, who don’t even have the story right. (if you’re going to gossip, at least get the story right!) But, I saw something this morning……..I saw a glimpse of Christ through my sometimes lonely moments.

In John 8, what I read today, I saw a side of Christ that I truly want to have in my life. I don’t really think Christ was a popular man, he had his “group” but, I think more people than not thought he was crazy, or not who he said he was………..I think he had many, many enemies, and I’ve often wondered if He too felt the feelings of being alone or rejected………and then I saw it, in his own precious words this morning…….The pharisees were always after Him, they were always looking to start an argument! But here’s where I see what I just love this morning………in verses 12-30, Jesus is totally defending himself. No one is stepping in and saying, Hey wait a minute (and don’t we all want someone on our side during an argument??) He just stood there and took it like a man! The Pharisees are saying to him, “Here you are, appearing as your own witness, your testimony is not valid!” LISTEN to Christ’s awesome reply………”Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I came from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone, I stand with the Father who sent me.”

Isn’t that EXACTLY what Christ is saying to these Pharisees, “You need to get your story right…….because you don’t know what you’re talking about!!” Knowing that Christ is with me tells me that whenever I stand on his word……..I am not alone. Right by my side each day is my defender, my protector and most importantly………my friend. He never leaves me hanging, he never forgets to return my phone calls, He NEVER tells things about me that aren’t true, he doesn’t judge me, he always has something new to tell me, he doesn’t look down on me, He’s always on my side,He calls me…….friend.

I think there is no better way to sum up how I feel this morning than through this video:

You and I are a Friend Of GOD………how amazing!!!