My…………….oh my………..my heart is so heavy this morning. Last night I had a very intense conversation with someone. I don’t disagree with everything this person said, but it all comes down to where you put your faith…….This person does not believe that you must be a born again believer in order to receive the grace of God, eternal life. Now I have to say, a lot of my thinking biblically and spiritually does not fit the complete mold of “southern baptist”. But when it comes down to the basics…………salvation……..I just don’t see that there is another way. Why on earth, no How on earth could we possibly think that there could be anything we do on this earth that would give us the ability to stand in the presence of God?!
This person also questioned why we send our daughter to Christian school. I have had many conversations with many people about this. If the truth really does come from me, the momma, then why the need to send her to Christian school and burn us out financially? Some days I say, I don’t know. I see many friends who choose public school, their kids are fine and they are fine. But then I see others who struggle immensely with teachers, students and beliefs that are taught in the schools. Not that there aren’t struggles as well at Hickory Grove. Could we do everything that they do at school at home? Yes. I’m sure I could teach Taylor a bible verse each week, learn bible stories each day, have prayer journals and bible studies with her and the other two.
But, I feel very, very strongly about this………..If we have the ability to send her and the other two to Christian school and we choose to buy a bigger, better house, new cars and send her to public school, I do not feel that is investing in God’s kingdom. That is investing into MY kingdom, and that’s not what God says to do. And if it means a smaller house, then that is what it means. This society that we live in……it sends so many mixed signals to us. I do not think that everyone HAS to send their kids to Christian school. In fact quite the opposite, I think we need lights in public school, and there is a very good chance that one day these girls will have to go to public school. But I feel that if we have the ability to give them that firm foundation of Christian education then why wouldn’t we? It’s just like if we choose to give other than our tithe to others……..yes I could spend that money on other “things” that will pass away, or I can choose to invest again into God’s kingdom.
Before Taylor started school, I really didn’t know where we’d send her. But I knew we couldn’t afford Hickory Grove and I wanted her to “thrive” in other areas of her life as well. Dance, Art classes and different programs that we were investing in didn’t make an eternal difference in her life. I said things like, “Well I want my child to be well-rounded”. And yes, I do want that for her, but I feel so strongly that if I choose to give her things that will pass away, rather than a greater emphasis on foundation in the truth, what have I truly given her?
That being said, if financially if we did not have the ability to send a child to Christian school, that is a totally different situation. I would never judge anyone, or look at anyone differently because they choose public school. But, my heart gets so sad when I hear people say they are pulling their child our of private school to “move up” in the world. That’s all I’m saying…………..I have a dear friend who sends her daughter to public school, they live in a very small house (according to her, not me), and they were recently offered a huge amount of money for their house. The key to her is that she doesn’t even want the money………I think if she had a choice, she would stay put in her house and keep pressing on the way things have been. She’s one of the most content people I know………an awesome example. And I truly think that she has taught her daughter an amazing lesson in life………”Things don’t matter.” But I also have another friend who has struggled because they are doing all they can do to send their child to this school and it’s just not working……..they are having to put to much emphasis on working and not being able to be a family. They are at a crossroads as well, what to do?
I don’t think Christian education is the ONLY WAY. Goodness……..that would be very self righteous of me to think that way. It’s a very personal choice, it’s a choice that has to come from Christ alone. But, I know this much………..He would be oh so sad and disappointed with me if I said to my girls, “We are not having a Christian education anymore because we want a bigger nicer house.” If financially it was hurting us so bad that Kris was never home and I had to work constantly and we weren’t a family anymore, then yes, I would have to re-evaluate things and really seek God’s guidance on that. And that is why we are living with my parents to take at time out and figure this thing out. But I’m at a crossroads…………we have the chance to buy a smaller house and keep them there, then I think I’d better do it. Will my girls be involved in many expensive activities this next year? Most likely not. Will they be disappointed? Maybe, maybe not.
My girls do not wear fancy clothes or have all the latest toys. They have been very blessed in their little lives by their grandparents and relatives, but they still have very simple things. Yes, I will FULLY admit, that they still have a momma who at times feels that she must “keep up”. And that is something God is totally working on with me. Finding that balance. And there is a balance to be found, it’s just getting there. That is why I take everything one day at a time. I’m pressing on each day with HIM by my side. I could not and will not ever put my faith all in me or my “inner self”. I think we have a power inside of us, (those bought by the lamb), that we can reach down and experience in mighty ways, BUT it is only through Christ alone…………..only through Christ alone will we draw ourselves to be all that God has intended us to be.
Can my girls still turn out wrong even though we choose Christian education………..YES, in fact I know there will come things that we will face and deal with. But, if I know that I’m truly doing all that Christ has given me the ability to do, including what I do at home with them………then I can stand firm on His promises. But I know, oh I know so much that it starts with me………..again another huge responsibility……..oh my, may I never take it for granted! May I never think because they are surrounded at school by believers that they will be ok…………May I never think “Oh well, she’ll learn that at school.” May God find me faithful in all areas, not just finances. May I continually invest in God’s kingdom and not just with money.
Oh I hope this all makes sense and you are able to see my true heart about this. I do not and will not ever judge anyone by the decisions they make………choosing Hickory Grove is a very personal deicsion but I always want to be honest in my life and I felt the need to explain my heart since I was questioned about this many times. Maybe it will help someone understand where I’m coming from with this. I hope and I pray that I do not offend anyone by anything I have said, that would never be my intentions………but more importantly I hope I have been found faithful through my hearts intentions in Christ.
Have an amazingly blessed day!
One Comment
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Love, I agree with you, you do what God has told you to do for your treasures, the word says we should teach them in the way they should go and they will not depart from it. You are forming a Godly destiny for your girls. Remember God is the rewarder of those who seek Him, and I believe you have… dont let people question what is in your heart. love always Me
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