Sometimes, it's just not about us!

I’ve awoken this morning with my soul at rest. I’ve had a huge change in my life the past two days and I realized something so incredible through this process. My prayer was that God would find Kris and I obedient with our finances. And once again, as I began to pray, I began to put God in a box. Some days He was on special order, or rush delivery…..how wrong I truly was. For the first time in months…..I’ve seen joy in my husband’s eyes. My children have turned their whines of “But this is a tiny house….” To this is God’s blessing in our lives and we will rejoice because HE gave it to us. (that came from Taylor age 6..almost 7) I’ve listened to so many messages on “how to open the flood gates” and read so many books on “getting God’s blessings”. But, here’s what I’ve come from with all this…….yes, I told God exactly what I wanted and I assure you, this house is NOTHING that I prayed for but HOLD ON…..a bigger prayer of mine was this, God I don’t ever know what’s best for us, but you do and I want to be in your will…..not mine, because mine doesn’t work. And then my prayers turned into, God you’ve got to show Kris what to do through this because I’m to emotional when it comes to our “home”. I had to “step aside!”

Surrender = Surprise. Surrender does NOT mean that we are going to get exactly what our hearts desires our…..and part of me is hitting myself upside the head because I was praying for GOD’S DESIRES anyways! I never prayed for a specific house to come through for us, my prayer was always, if this is what you want…..then I will obey. As HARD as it was to suck up that prayer and pray it……I see now, that sometimes our obedience isn’t about us. Let me explain, I think of the realtor that we are using and how awesome and goldy she has been through this process, a realtor that PRAYED with me about this!!!……..God is blessing this because is her listing (she’s a single mom with three girls) BUT what a huge blessing she has been to me!!!…..I think about the neighbors…..they were very worried that a not so nice person would be moving in next door…..They’re getting a nice ol family =) (they may change their minds after they start hearing my girls fighting and the noise we will bring to their very quite street!!) I think about the people selling the house and what relief has come to them (this was their mom’s house and she passed away). I think about my husband and his “big thinking” and how excited he is to do a huge project like this! I think how awesome he feels and how a sense of relief has come over him. And I think about the ways that I will be able to serve our God with more of my time at our church because driving will be NO excuse!! (Valerie, I’ll be coming to choir!) I think about the people and mission trips we will be able to help financially because our every dollar isn’t going to be poured into a mortgage.

It’s just not always about us….and I think that part of the reason so many people are into debt up to their eyeballs is because they have believed this lie that God’s will is for them to live in a huge house and drive all the latest cars and have their children involved in everything possible. Now, I totally believe that verse in the bible that says, “Whoever is faithful with what God gives them, He will bless them more.” I do absolutely think that Christians should live super blessed lives….but it’s a process and my friends, I am back at step one. And I’m ok with that!!! I’m REALLY ok with that! My prayer is just for obedience in each and every area of my life, and I’m sure the enemy will attack me many, many times, but I can know and claim that I am walking in obedience. What a huge lesson learned this has been for me, and I know I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve taken away so much from all this. When you REALLY pray for what God wants…..it does not always turn out the way you think it will. But aren’t His ways better anyways?

I am just a common girl……and oh so common girl, who prayed God’s will and truly discovered what it means to pray His will. It’s just not about us…….at all. When you think about Christ and the so unselfish thing that He did for us upon that cross……it really starts to make sense!! So today I can walk in peace, not dispair or hopelessness…..I can walk knowing that God’s hands are upon this whole thing and I just have to keep trusting in Him the whole way. I can walk with a happy heart and hear rejoicing in HIM because he did come through!! I can know that whatever “big picture” I have in my small mind is nothing……nothing compared to what He has up his sleeve!!

Walking by faith and never ever ever by sight,
~Nicki