If I ever……

If I ever come on this blog again and say we are moving and especially if I say we are taking on a huge house makeover…….PLEASE STOP ME. Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel today. I so don’t even have the time to be sitting here, but I thought maybe it would help me re-group. =) We are supposed to be moving in first thing in the morning, the house is not nearly ready!!! My mil and Kris stayed at the house until late last night trying to get Taylor and Hope’s room done. THANK YOU!!! Kennedy’s room still has no paint on the walls, outlet’s re-wired or ANYTHING. Our room doesn’t either, but ugh, that can wait!

The Kitchen is not done……no counter tops, we had some miscommunication about which ones and Kris got the wrong ones (my fault, I didn’t want to stop painting and run to Lowe’s w/ him). The paint in the kitchen is not done……….although I got a good bit of it done yesterday thankfully to my sweet friend who kept ALL THREE of those girly’s…..yes, she’s a saint!! THANK YOU!!! The house is full of dust still from the sander, none of the outlets have covers’s on them………ya, this isn’t helping me “re-group”. More like re-stress. And I’ve been trying to clean out my mom’s house all this week too, while they are gone. We sure have overtaken their house……..sorry mom. Not to mention the demands of these stressed out girly’s…….oh I feel so bad for them. HopeAnn is having the hardest time…….last night she had a huge breakdown because for some reason in her sweet little head she thought that in her and Taylor’s room she was going to have her old full size bed……..they have bunk beds now, but doesn’t understand that there is just not enough room for anything besides their beds and bookcases in their room. Bless her heart………

Kennedy, she keeps walking into my mom’s living room going “Hey Popa“. (even though he’s not here right now, they are in Las Vegas for the week) And she’s looking for her Nun Ya too. (that’s what she calls my mom) OH MY………..(sigh) this would be so cool and fun had we not had three young girly’s…….but, I know God’s got this worked out right??? I just can’t help but be like, “Lord, how could this have been your plan? Our time is more than stretched out……our bank account is running VERY low……..we are at each other’s throats……the girl’s are not happy….. we are exhausted…….” I know, selfish thoughts right???

Taylor last night said to me……..”You know mommy, I’m not gonna get upset about this, because I know my God is so much bigger than all of this, He’s gonna take care of our every little need. He’s gonna give us those superpowers we need to get this all done!” I about fell over……..wow, such wisdom from a 6 1/2 year old!! Yes, even in the midst of it all God is going to take care of our every little need. I don’t know if I see the end or a huge mess in sight……..I know what moving means, goodness I’ve done it 16 times in my life……yes 16 times NO EXAGGERATION. Forgive my grumblings this morning……pure frustration has overcome me. But here it is, a new morning……..a new day that God, precious sweet God has set before me. What am I going to do? Am I going to stay overwhelmed, sad, frustrated and chaotic? Or am I going to put on the radiance of Him and trust that He is walking beside me.

Oh Sweet Jesus,
Thank you for waking me up today. Thank you for this home that you have allowed my family to dwell in for the past few months…….Thank you that you have provided the whole time. Thank you that you have blessed our obedience. Thank you for a new home, for the spirit that already dwells there……a spirit of peace from a very godly woman that made her home there for 50 years. Thank you that all along you have sent me little blessings here and there, like the trash can I found yesterday….it was originally $75 for $14…..Lord, who pays $75 for a trash can??

Sweet Father, Forgive me for my disbelief, for my doubts, for my anger, for my overwhelming frustrations throughout this process. Forgive me for not trusting you and even questioning you. Lord, I know that is not how you want me to be. Lord forgive me for my jealousy towards friends that have big new houses…..I know you do not want me to hold jealousy in my heart towards anyone, forgive me. Forgive me for my frustrations with these girly’s and Kris, Lord, I’m so sorry. Lord forgive me for letting the enemy win many battles and not praising you through it all. I am so sorry. Give me a clean heart, pure desires and obedience that shines within me today. Lord, wash my hands from these horrible “worldly” problems…….Lord in the whole picture this all seems so small, so pointless, so “doesn’t matter”.

Lord, you know that I can’t stand things to be in chaos for a very long time. You know that I have this great need to get everything done before it’s even completed. But, Lord, I’m overwhelmed at how much has to be done today. I know Father your words say that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I need your strength today. I need your “super powers”. I need you to calm the controlling storm inside me. I release it all, I surrender oh Lord, my palms are UP.

I lift up everyone who reads this blog to you today. I pray that you would meet them all right where they are at. I pray that you would heal those who need healing, guide those who need guidance, bless those who need the blessing and break those who need brokenness. Lord, bless this day…..it is all yours. Holy Spirit bring to my mind all day those that need prayer and help me to just obey all day………just trust and obey. I love you Father, oh I love you. You are my rock…..you are my hope…..you are my JOY.

Walking by faith never by sight,
Nicki