God has just shook my little world

I have been gone all day, and normally I wouldn’t blog at this time of day…….but I just HAD to come on here and share what God has done the past two days.

Life hasn’t been easy, choices haven’t been clear……but a heart that longs for obedience……that’s what has been happening here. I quit my job last night………..I quit while dragging my feet, screaming in my soul, and crying out NNNNOOOOOO. Lord, PLEASE don’t take this job away…..it is finally been a place where I have felt successful, good at something and just a great way for me to help Kris out……….or so I thought. In fact, it turns out, I’ve actually put our budget in the HOLE with this job. The company is seriously messed up……..paychecks NEVER right, NO W-2’s, NO training…….poor managment……..But I was pretty blind, you know I like to think the best of everyone!!!

But last night………God said, “No more.” He made it VERY clear to me and Kris that this was not the right place for me to be. After a seriously stressed out week and an uneasy spirit…….I sent that e-mail last night just KNOWING that they were going to fight to keep me. Because I KNOW right??? WRONG. My boss could have cared less. No apologies, no promises, no……..nothing. Just, “Oh well, have a nice life.” My spirit was crushed, and I was very weak last night. It just really STINKS when you put your all into something……..however, I cannot work for free, no matter how much I LOVED my job…….I cannot do it.

And you know what? God had already prepared me for this! He had already said to me last week……..”This will be no more.” In fact on last Thursday, I felt like God said to me, “Leave your badge on that desk, this will be no more.” And I totally DID NOT listen……..Like “Whatever!” This is the greatest job EVER. And then, yesterday after a very inspiring conversation with my super sweet friend, we were discussing obedience at ALL COSTS……as soon as I hung up that phone God got serious with me…….He said “YOU ARE NOT IN OBEDEINCE MY CHILD”……..I continued to ignore it. Yes I am, I’m doing “good” things Lord. See God……. And through a series of events that evening……..the Lord revealed to me once and for all that job was not the right place for me. And IT KILLED ME.

So, I took a deep sigh this morning……….and started about my day, not knowing where it would lead. However, lead it did………..and God shook my world once again………the Lord revealed to Kris and my mom that I was supposed to go to the She Speaks conference……since I didn’t get the scholarship……I felt like perhaps it just wasn’t my time yet. Well, apparently the Lord thinks differently. SOOOOO……… after an encouraging talk with my mom and Kris, I am registering!!! I am TOTALLY walking by Faith through this too…….I’m scared, I’m fearful, but I am SO EXCITED I want to shout it out!! Then……..as if THAT was not enough………God showed up again.

First, the biggest thing about my quitting my job was that I was like, “Lord, I am going to be so lonely again.” (Because ya’ll know my neighbors are SO FRIENDLY) And God said, “No your not, GEMS is today.” (GEMS is a mom’s group at our church) So, I went and I just had the best time, laughing and talking with other mom’s.

AND THEN……..I was picking up Hope and Kennedy from pre-school and saw two good friends and we decided to hit the playground for a little bit before carline. Well, one of my friends says to me, “Nicki…….do you have the book “God calling”?” And ya’ll…….Valarie over at Val’s walk of Faith is FORVER talking about this book……and so many times I have said, I HAVE TO GET THAT BOOK, but it’s just never crossed my heart or mind when I’m ordering a new book. WELL, God had different plans…….I said, “No, but I need to get it.” she said, “Hold on……..I was praying and asking God who to give this book to and He said you.” I almost lost it RIGHT THERE. My emotions are already so on my sleeve today but I was just in awe…….

So, as I’m sitting in carline I just happened to pick up the book and said, “Ok Lord, let’s see what this is all about.” Well, I just about had myself a revival sitting in that van!!! I wanted to go tap on the car in front of me and say, “Excuse me will you just jump up and down with me??” But I’m afraid this woman would’ve been like “HUH???”……..So anyways……. I see what all the fuss is about!! I won’t write the whole thing out but the last sentance that captured my heart said this, “Remember, trembling heart, that with God, to hear is to answer. Your prayers, and they have been many, are answered.” I had to LAUGH at the last part because ya’ll…….my prayers HAVE BEEN MANY lately. And this prayer of “obedience” whew it’s a tough one. But, this book is so right…….God did answer, and He is listening!

I don’t know what God has in store….I just know that I was supposed to quit my job and I’m supposed to go to the She Speaks conference and walk in obedience. I don’t have all the details worked out yet, but I know they will come. So IF I come on here and have some crazy new job idea…….WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SMACK ME……any takers?? =) hee.

Well, I just had to tell you all this, while it was fresh on my soul………and fresh it is! It’s an awesome day and I’d love to hear how you have experienced God today……….I hope you have had a blessed day, I know I have. God shook my little world and I went with it. What a concept……….=)

SPELL CHECK IS STILL NOT WORKING, no fooling you again today!!! Oh my……someone help this blogger out!!