DMV..is for the birds?

The past few weeks we have been busy, busy, busy trying to get all this moving fiesta done. And apparently when you send your kids to public school you need things like birth certificates, driver’s licenses, even power bills with the correct address and ahem…..to prove you live in said place.

Things that a momma must get done, but don’t like to get done with the girly girl birds flying around her feet.

Well, you can imagine the unpleasant glare my husband received when he informed me that he couldn’t stay home on the morning we decided I was going to go to such places like the dreaded DMV without little birdies at my feet.

It wasn’t pretty.

And there could have maybe, just maybe been an little bit of an unpleasant exchanging of words. Maybe.

So I gathered up my crew and threatened their little lives with things like never having an icee again if they did not behave. Because when a momma needs major ammo, she pulls the icee card. Works every-single-time. {winks}

Well apparently the Lord was in quite a humorous mood as my little entourage pulled into one overcrowded parking lot because at exactly the moment we opened our doors….drops of rain began to fall.

Now, this would not be such a problem in things like LINES were not like OUTSIDE and we had NO umbrella. But they were and we did not.

You better believe I pulled a major, “SWEET MERCY LORD”. But…it was almost as if He quietly chuckled and sang to me, “Oh no girl……IT’S GRACE LIKE RAINNNNNNN”.

Regardless of how much grace is found in rain, there was none found on this day, I can assure you of that.

As I stood there…..under a tree no less…..with my girls, I began to think that this was perhaps the craziest thing I have ever attempted with three children in tow. And had I NOT needed to register them THAT day at their school, I would have jetted outta there like you would not believe.

A little over than an hour or so we finally made it into the hallway of the dmv line. Such a grand place when you have been standing in the rain. And I do believe I could’ve held a raffle for my spot in line at that point.

Well, when you have no immediate rewards/consequences/entertainment for this Kennyboo:

You give her your phone…..so she can take pictures……lot’s of pictures. Which will inspire everyone to practice their poses for lovely DMV head shots. And she will ammuse many and make them laugh while waiting for endless hours in line.

Maybe they’d hire her on there at the DMV.

But… she’s pretty booked up these days. You know dumping Lego’s everywhere, antagonizing the living daylights out of her sissy’s and making many phone calls to people just to ask, “What are you doing?”…pretty much fills up her schedule.

So to kill time we did the hoe-down-throw-down several times, a small version of the hokey pokey and about a million and one photo shoots with the camera phone.

Because after all, everything should be educational.

Well, apparently DMV folk aren’t used to things like boo’s hanging out with them for three hours. And they don’t have things like skittle machines, coloring books or even….potty’s.

Which didn’t make little diva birdy very happy.

So she found great pleasure to kill the time by enforcing the no-cell-phone’s allowed sign. I mean, I’m intimidated by a three-year-old, aren’t you?

In fact, I’ve come to believe that the reason the lines are so ridiculously long at the DMV is because they are forever telling someone to get off the phone! Yet another reason the boo would be their perfect next candidate for DMV customer relations.

I mean do YOU know someone that can do the hoe-down-throw-down in all it’s perfection as WELL as enforce no cell phone rules?

Well, after we had all quite had enough, the boo pulled out HER major ammo to get out of such a place. “Mommy!!! I gotta go potty NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!”

And did you have ANY idea that the DMV does not find it necessary to provide such facilities for such demanding children or anyone else that might have to hang out there for three hours? AT ALL.

So guess who got a text from one stressed out momma? Um…yes. The husband. And it went something like this: “Boo has to pee NOW get here before someone dies.”

Luckily it was his lunch break and he made it there just in the nick of time to run her across the street to McD’s.

Just as the boo was gone my number was FINALLY called. I got what I needed and proceeded to jet out of there as fast as I could, mercifully giving every person I could a smile on my way outta there. But in all sincerity, did not look at the driver’s license like man who said to look at driver’s license said to……because, what’s the point?

So we got the girls registered in all it’s goodness and made our way to run some errands. And a little ring ring on the cell phone would bring back into full circle man who’s job it is to say, “LOOK AT YOUR LICENSE TO MAKE SURE IT’S CORRECT”.

“Excuse me Mrs.Koziarz? This is Matthews Elementary school and we were just looking over your driver’s license and they spelled your last name wrong….like they missed the “K” in Koziarz.”

WHAT?!

“Ya, and we need to have this fixed as soon as possible.”

Sweet Mercy, Sweet Mercy and another Sweet MERCY.

DMV…it’s not for me or the birds……but it is for people who can follow directions.

“The One enthroned in heaven laughs..” -Psalm 2:4

Oh yes He does. Especially on our DMV days. 🙂