She Speaks but God spoke. {again}

I really think that this weekend wasn’t She Speaks for me……it was…..God speaks. Just like last year!

As I sit here looking at this blank blogger page with a flashing cursor that says, “write, write, write”….I don’t even know that I can begin to put this weekend into words.

But I know I have to try.

First, typically when I go to an event, a conference a retreat or something geared at aiming me at drawing closer to the Lord, the warfare is when I get home. But this experience was totally opposite. The warfare last week…was unbelievable.

I seriously was on the edge of my seat waiting for the next bomb to drop or e-mail to come in or phone call that would all lead me to know full and well the effects of the enemy working not double time….triple…..quadrouple….ok, just insert biggest number word you’ve ever heard there. 😉

It was obvious that God was up to something in more ways than one. But Kris and I had to make some tough decisions in the midst of it all. None of it was made without complete assurance from the Lord and without a ton of prayer and seeking God’s word.

In ways that I would have never expect, He proved himself faithful. He’s always watching, always listening and always knows when the time to prove His work must continue, no matter what.

And so I did my best to put all the chaos aside and focus on what I had been preparing for months, weeks, days and can I tell you how many 2am nights this girl pulled? Sweet mercy.

I had carefully picked out clothes, my hair was looking ok, my proposals were tweaked, speeches were written, an incredibly supportive husband, sweet notes from my girls, lot’s of awesome birthday wishes, good luck e-mails,texts and phone calls…but most importantly a heart full of seeking to know where God was leading me.

While driving to the conference I had the most amazing time of worship in my car. Just me and Jesus….dancing. Not literally, but you know what I mean, that would’ve proven mighty dangerous to be dancing with Jesus on 485. {winks}

And it was as though the Lord was just removing all the cares I held in my heart and sweeping them away into the clouds. I felt a whisper in my soul that said, “Go and make me proud girl.” Because no matter what ever becomes of a little proposal, a little speech or anything else this broken down Jesus girl right here does…the only thing I do care about is, making sure God is proud.

As I walked into that very first publisher appointment, my little “planned out” world turned way upside down.

I had no idea that there would be other women in this meeting, all pitching their book too, nor that I would have less than two minutes to give my “schpeal” and worse….that the publisher opened the thirty minutes with “And I will not be taking any proposals with me.”

{WHAT?}

Mercy my heart was racing.

But then I remember something a friend had told me before the conference. She said, “Make sure you see if other publisher’s have an opening.”

As I left that meeting a little discouraged but determined that I was going to tell someone…..ANYONE….about this book on that day. I prayed quickly, “Lord, I’m so disapointed….please open up a new door if it’s your plan.”

And He did.

Within ten minutes!

The most tender, sweet and gracious publisher agreed to see me….but it had to be RIGHT THEN.

So I wiped the sweat from my nose {hee hee, I sweat on my nose, isn’t that gross??} and walked in there with the peace and assurance that can only come from God.

Sitting across from a woman I had never met, I took a deep breath and walked her through the outline. And waited anxiously through each little or big nod that she gave me. Then…she said the words that whether or not I will ever get a contract or not…gave me the best birthday ever…..

“I like it. I think you may have something here, I’d like to read it. I’d like to take your proposal and read your two chapters.”

And this big-haired, overly excited girlfriend was soooo wanting to do the hoe-down-throw-down with this savy publisher….but I didn’t think she’d go for that…so I just graciously thanked her for her time and scooted out of there. {And then I did the happy dance!}

Oh sweet bloggy friends, I have so much more I want to share and posts that will continue this whole week with neat and amazing things God did.

Please come back tomorrow to hear about appointment number two {which was even more amazing}, new friends I met, bloggers that rocked my world, speaker evaluations, the excitement in the She Seeks ministry, amazing speakers and oh ya….and a little woman with an incredible story….Jennifer Rothschild!

And because I know so many of you wondered how that wardrobe blessing turned out, may I present outfit for day one…{and btw, I totally know I look like a nervous wreck, but…oh well}