The hardest person to decide for.

I love Christmas, I really do! I love to think deeply about other’s and I spend hours searching high and low for the perfect gift. Granted alot of those gifts end up as gift cards, which I’m not crazy about giving, but sometimes there is no perfect gift for someone. {wink}

As crazy as this sounds, I actually enjoy years like this one, where funds are low. It really makes me think outside of the box and figure out creative ways to give. It makes it simple to say no to girls with crazy desires like laptops…..mercy. But hard to say no to such tender hearts that ask for a new sister from Kenya. {sweetness}

So as of this moment everyone on my list is all bought for. The gifts are secretly hidden {isn’t that the hardest part? hiding them?} and the Christmas Eve meal has been planned. Boxes have been shipped to loved ones across this nation. Christmas programs x3 have been faithfully attended and parties were lovingly planned to light up eyes and spread some cheer. The house is as decorated as it’s gonna get this year and I believe I can say, I’m ready.

Except for one thing.

The most important thing of all.

Each year I decide in my heart of the gift I want to bring Jesus this year. Last year it was my faithfulness to attempt writing and presenting my first ever book proposal for Him. I prayed hard and He miraculously prepared a way. Years before it’s been to read my bible more. To get more involved. Or to try to be more encouraging.

But this year, I felt as though a greater sacrifice needed to be made. And that’s a hard decision to come to.

Life has gotten very busy as these girls get older. There is more laundry to do, more cleaning, more places to go, bigger bellies to fill and more problems to solve. Homework never ends, reading is always a challenge and someone always needs something.

And I find myself feeling quite out of balance many, many days.

Sometimes I feel as though Jesus gets my leftovers. And not just when it comes to reading His word. With everything in my life. My body, my soul, my acts of service….it’s all….when I have time.

So I thought about giving Jesus more time for me to exercise. Or a deeper commitment to stop the busy day and spend time with Him. Or a plan to memorize insane amounts of scripture. I had a lot of great ideas.

But then I heard Him say something I didn’t want to hear.

He said, Give me 5am.

Huh?

Yes, like you used to. 5am was our time, not 11pm or even 1am…5am.

I cringed at the thought. But then I realized that’s exactly how I know it’s what I’m supposed to do. As I have learned over this past year what God requires from us should never make us feel “comfortable”. It should always feel like it’s a sacrifice. And as silly as it may sound to you but giving up those late nights and getting up at the crack o dawn is really something sacrificial in my life right now.

So Jesus…..here is my gift to you:

5am.

You take and use that hour however you wish. To speak fresh words into my soul. To run beside me out in the freezing cold. Or to simply bring me to my knees for people in my life. Whatever you want to do with that hour each and every morning. It’s yours. And I can’t wait to see what you do with that time! 🙂

So bloggy friends……what are you giving Jesus this year? Have you decided yet? Have you thought about it yet? If so I’d love to hear what it is. If not, there’s still time. {wink} It’s not Christmas day yet.