Focus.

“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” -Jeremiah 29:13 [MSG]

This morning I had the privilege to bring a group of women at a nearby church a message. It is such an honor any time the Lord allows me to share his word with anyone. I never take it lightly.

And, I’d do it with the same enthusiasm if it was only to the clerk at the grocery store.

But there is something that happens every.single.time in my car on the way to an event…I always feel like vomit fest is going to go down right there, in my car, all over my carefully picked out outfit.

It’s really bad.

And then, I have these great fears that NO ONE is going to be there.

And then, I have even greater fears that I will be so nervous that I will stumble all over my words.

And then, the greatest fear I have is that I will just spit out something completely stupid.

I get so tired of feeling like a lame loser before I speak.

So much so that it often makes me want to just stop, tell these people, “No, I can’t do this because I MIGHT throw up on the way there, and completely ruin my outfit, which would cause me to cry and then ruin my mascara, which would then run clear down my face into my hair and well…I would just be a MESS.”

But last night as I laid in my bed tossing and turning, finding no sleep, I pulled out my Bible and read the verse above. I was challenged with this thought:

We can’t get tired of doing the next thing, the pursuit of God will keep us from giving up or quitting.

I don’t know what in your life God has challenged you with, but I’m sure there is something that makes you feel like you are about to vomit just thinking about it.

Chances are…vomit leads to the right direction. [that’s gross Nicki, so gross]

BUT…if we give up because it is just to hard and just can’t deal with it anymore, we are going to miss out.

I got to this point in my heart last night where I just wanted to speak today and speak bold, confident truth because the pursuit of God has become something very serious to me.

It is what gently nudged me into writing on this blog for 30 days straight.

It is what gently nudged me to fast for five days.

It is what gently nudged me to knock on a door of opportunity last week.

The pursuit of God will bring such a strong focus to our souls. Wanting God more than anything else does something to you…

30.5 seconds before I started speaking today, that horrible, awful, no good feeling fled from my soul. The power of the Holy Spirit stepped in, took over and there I stood, numb…with nothing to say.

And then, God.

God took over.

And guess what?

Just like this verse says, I was not disappointed. I was amazed, at the hand of God.

I tell you this very embarrassing corner of my soul to encourage you. I don’t know where you are at today in your journey. But I know that there might be someone out there who feels like its just not worth it to keep going.

I’ve got good news….

God is not threatened by our fears, doubts and even questions.

He’s got it. He can handle our near vomit fest experiences. In fact…he will bless them.

So press on dear friend. Focus on Jesus more than anything else. It will all come to full circle, it will.

And you will not be disappointed. Focus.