The heart of a boundary.

I don’t know about you but boundaries are always something I have always struggled with.

And the spectrum of boundaries that I have struggled through fall from:

When to say no to the m&m’s

to

When to say no to the person who is trying to take over your life

And in the process of not saying no to certain things, I have only wounded…myself.

This past year I have moved into several leadership roles in life. I’ve gone from serving to leading which is very different –yet still the same.

Most mornings after my time in God’s word, you can find me for a few moments curled up in leadership thoughts with a book like Axiom by Bill Hybels.

My ears are constantly listening to podcasts, sermons and anything I can to hear the great voices of leaders in this generation.

How do they do this?

What are their thoughts about that?

What would so-in-so do in THAT situation?

And many days, I feel inadequate. Lost. Alone.

The truth is, being a leader isn’t easy. And guess what else? It isn’t something that just comes…natural.

Sure leaders posses certain qualities [like being able to keep the playground game of Red Rover rolling] but leaders struggle just like anyone else.

And the fact is…

I have failed.

More than once.

Especially when it comes to boundaries.

One of the things that gets asked a lot when we question some-one’s motives is, “What’s the heart behind that?”.

Its easy to blow someone off if we feel like their motives are ill-minded.

And I really think this is how a lot of people view boundaries.

We don’t see the value…therefore most boundaries are discounted before we even have the opportunity to try them.

Somehow we can become convinced that when people place boundaries in their lives its because of some manipulative motive.

But boundaries my friends, are a beautiful thing.

In fact, here are some boundaries that God has recently shown me to be truth:

1. The boundary that God has given me to not turn my Blackberry on before spending time with Him -keeps my mind focused all day on who is the most important.

There is no text message, email or voice mail that is more important that what He has to say.

2. The boundary that my family comes before ministry -keeps my schedule in check, my activities in check and keeps decision making easy.

There will never be a greater ministry than that of being a wife and raising my girls.

3. The boundary that I should always come to God first -keeps my problem solving skills in perspective.

When faced with a difficult decision, aggravating circumstance or questions I know that God will always be my highest level of authority.

But there are areas that I struggle with…a lot.

~Knowing how much communication between people is healthy. [I prefer a little, some people prefer a lot.]

~Wanting people to respect the time I have, life and circumstances w/o having to share every detail and feeling bad when I have to say no.

~Knowing how much to invest into someone and when to know that their issues go beyond your help.

These are honest struggles for me.

Here’s the thing…

When I tell my girls that they cannot cross the street without me, its because I love them. I know that they will most likely forget and cross without looking.

So I give them the boundary: You cannot cross without me.

I believe that God does the same with us.

Here, these are steps I want you to take to keep yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually safe.

When I decide to allow a boundary to be crossed -whether its on my part or another’s- I fail.

But I have realized that with leadership, failure isn’t an option…its a requirement.

I don’t have it all together. I never will.

But today I’m trying to look at boundaries in a different way.

A God-way.

Whether other people see them that way, isn’t for me to decide.

And maybe today you need to hear the same words that God impressed on my soul:

“Ministry will get messy. You will fail. Receive my grace…you need it too. Don’t live for the approval of anyone but me. Remember the price I paid for everything you will ever fail to do. And that will always be more than enough.”