This morning I’ve been thinking about that phrase:
God’s ways are not our ways.
There’s a lot of stress in our lives right now. I’m not sure I can do everything that is in front of me.
My confidence is shaken. I’ve felt confused. There’s been gossip from others. There’s been false judgment.
And since I’m not super human, this has allowed my thoughts to run towards inadequacy.
Which immediately, we naturally tend to try to cover up with pride:
“But, I’ve done this.”
and
“I’ve been good at that.”
and
“Its not my fault they feel that way.”
Some of this is true, we can only carry so much ourselves. We need to own our mistakes and know that people are going to think what they want to think.
But today, I’ve found myself engulfed with this portion of scripture:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” -Matthew 5:3
I have never really understood this portion of scripture.
I thought, doesn’t Jesus want us to be happy? Joyful? [cue happy music]
Why do I feel like I’ve had this all wrong?
Because I have.
Something has shifted in my life over the past few years.
We should never view ourselves the way people see us, but it is hard not to. And honestly, I’ve allowed what others to think [good and bad] to affect me.
Bad move.
In this passage of scripture, we might read it and think that the “poor in spirit” are actually people in poverty.
But as I did some digging, I saw that “poor in spirit” means:
~Being inadequate
~Really not cutting it
~Striving for righteousness and never getting there
~A place of being spiritually bankrupt
None of us seek to become a pathetic, loser, reject and morally empty person. And this could be a disturbing thought to those of us who have grown up in religion.
We are taught that yes, God’s grace is a free gift but the more we “do” for God, the better.
I’ve written a post on this blog before about God not needing us. That’s not a comforting thought. And that post was definitely not a home-run with my readers.
As humans, we love to feel needed. We want to believe that we have something to offer this world and even the Kingdom of God. And the idea of poverty [in any form] isn’t attractive.
But you know what?
When I went to El Salvador last year, the thing that I noticed from the people there -who actually lived in poverty- was this…there were no judgments. No critical spirits. They thought the best of everyone. And there was such a spirit of gratitude that can’t be faked.
And today, I’m seeing this connection once again in my own life.
Spiritual poverty brings us to a place where God’s character really shines.
When we don’t need a high-five from God, when we don’t need to feel important, we when don’t need to be heard, when we know we are seated at a table where we really don’t belong…this is where God meets us in our poverty.
If Jesus opened his sermon with this, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”, it is something for us to take careful consideration of.
He will meet me in this unlikely place. Less of me, less of my ways, less of my thoughts, less of my opinions.
I don’t cut it. I don’t measure up. I don’t have this thing figured out. I make mistakes. I fail each day.
Spiritually bankrupt…it is really the richest place to be.
11 Comments
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I LOVE that God’s ways are not our way! There have been times when I have looked back and seen how MUCH BETTER His ways have been, than if I were to get my own way.
You said, “We should never view ourselves the way people see us, but it is hard not to. And honestly, I’ve allowed what others to think [good and bad] to affect me.”
I agree that it’s so hard not to let that creep into ourlives sometimes,to let it affect us, to buy into lies of seeing the way (we think) others may see us, instead of how God sees us.
Good thoughts Kristen!
I have experienced that when I am at my weakest, then He makes me strong. But still I try to be strong on my own. My strength is sufficient. But it’s His grace that is all I need. God doesn’t need me, but I thankful that He chooses to use me. So much less of me and much more of Him.
Many blessings, Nicki!
Me too my friend…me too.
Praying for God’s wisdom, peace and balance to be abundantly yours, Nicki! Your heart is beautiful! And your posts are continually full of truth and light! Thank you for being transparent!
Sweet Leigh, thank you for your heart and thank you for your prayers! You are the sweetest.
In a post with so much spiritual truth, it surprised me when this line hit me so hard:
“when we don’t need a high five from God…”
I seriously felt my stomach flip a little when i read it, and not in a good way. How often do I inadvertently set my eyes upon pleasing or somehow impressing God but end up overwhelmed with guilt or shame when I feel like I failed? Too often. Way too often.
Thank you for opening my eyes to that ugly little truth.. focusing on serving Him instead of just looking for a high five from now on!
Brittany, I so appreciate your honesty too. That was a gut-wrenching thought for me too. Standing with you to keep our eyes focused in the right direction! 🙂
Such a great post. I’m thankful that God lead me here this morning. You voiced many things that I’ve been feeling lately. I’m at this place that I really don’t want the safe God that I’ve become accustomed to…not letting him really work in my life. I’m ready to let him have full control and unleash his power in my life. But it took being poor in spirit to get there.
Thanks Deborah, I’m thankful that God is doing this thing in your life right now too. Giving up control is tough but the results will be amazing!
i Nicki,
Loved this very real and honest post. This past week I was sharing with my husband that I am experiencing spiritual growing pains related to my emotional bank. I realized that I have been emotionally dependent upon others to form the view I have of myself. Ouch! My take away from your post resonates within me because God’s opinion is the only opinion that matters. False judgment, confusion, inadequacy all originate with our great Enemy, the father of lies. If we believe him over what we know the word of God says about us, then we continue to struggle with these very things. I know this first hand. My other thought is this: God is looking for a faithful and true heart of worship, one that pursues Him passionately! We don’t have to impress him with what we have; after all, He gave all of it to us anyway! In the midst of it all, no matter our mistakes, when He finds a true heart of worship, God meets us where we are and covers us with His mercy & grace! And this my friend is a well that I draw from daily! Thank you for taking a moment to read my thoughts. May God bless your beautiful heart for Him!
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