It was a moment my heart ached like no other.
I climbed into my Red-Jeep Wrangler, buckled my seat belt, put my car into reverse as fast as I could and sped down a dark country road.
The night sky was clear and every star shone so brightly. Tears poured down my face, I was in no condition to be driving. I flipped off the radio and began a fit of rage at God himself, “Why?! Why did you allow this to happen?”
I pulled over. The air was cold. I turned off the jeep. The silence was eerie.
There was nothing I could do to change anything. What was going to be…was going to be.
Do you trust me?
The prompting on my heart of this question climbed through the layers of skepticism of who I really thought God was. Truth be told, I didn’t trust God.
I trusted Him when things were good, when life was easy, but in the lowest moment of my life?
I didn’t trust God.
I wish I could tell you that Jesus himself just showed up in my car that night and I never mistrusted God again.
But that is the furthest thing from the truth.
It would be years later before I could say I trusted God again. And even today…yes, I have trust issues with God.
Why is trusting God so hard?
There’s the obvious answer, you can’t see Him.
There’s the sensible answer, He’s mysterious.
Then there’s the overused answer, Gods ways are just not our ways.
But today I’m thinking that trusting God is so much more than just a position we accept.
Trusting God is a place of response.
In my desperate situation that night what I really wanted to say to God was, “I need to trust you, more than ever.” My soul and my mouth just didn’t know how to connect that thought.
I need to trust you, Jesus.
In days where everywhere we turn there is uncertainty and fear, this practice of verbally placing our trust in Jesus can be powerful.
Today as I’m learning to trust God more, here are some things I’m saying aloud:
Jesus, I need to trust you more than ever to believe that you work all things out for your good. [Romans 8:28]
Jesus, I need to trust you more than ever to fight this battle I am facing. [Exodus 14:14]
Jesus, I need to trust you more than ever to be my God who provides beyond my limitations. [Philippians 4:19]
My heart wonders, what do you need to trust Jesus more than ever for today?
Today in the comments, lets verbally [well, virtually-verbally ;)] say what we need to trust Jesus more for. As you leave a comment, pray for the person above you. I am praying for you too.
Let’s start a movement…a movement of trusting God more.
16 Comments
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Hi Nicki!
I think so many Christians have this issue, maybe even all of us at some point. I think our ability to trust depends on our worldly experience. I have trust issues with a lot of people because of the events of my past. My father was never a big part of my life, but he seemed to have the biggest impact. He has been in and out of jail since about a year before I was born and I went about 10 years not speaking to him at all. He chose women, drinking and drugs over his 4 children. Having this problem with my earthly father, causes a huge wall within me to form towards my heavenly Father. I pray that I, and others like myself, can learn to trust the greatest Father we cannot see. Much Love,
Jessica
Jessica, my heart aches for your story…you have been through so much. God has incredible things he is already doing through you…you touched my heart today.
Jesus, please give Jessica a sense of trust that she has never had before. I pray that you would allow her to continue to heal from her childhood. Thank you Lord for your trust.
Wow! You hit upon a heart issue here. It’s easy to trust in the good times, but in the bad times – well that’s a different story. I have been feeling lately like God is asking me to have an “even if” kind of faith. A faith that says, I will trust Him, even if the worst-case scenario does happen. Honestly, that really scares me. There is no one concrete thing right now that I need to trust Him for (you know what I mean), but I want to build that foundation of trust today so I can know, that I know, that I know, that I will trust Him – even if. Thanks, Nicki!
Wow Lisa…I love what God is teaching you about an “even-if” kind of faith. That is an incredible message.
Jesus, I lift up Lisa to you and ask that you would continue to develop this “even-if” kind of faith. I pray that she would not fear and build this foundation of trust in you.
I need to trust that Jesus will take care of me and that the best plans are the plans that he already has set out. I’m going to be applying to college soon. And I’m a litte scared.
Tay…I hear you friend. The unknown is very scary.
Jesus, I pray for Tay that she would have an unexplainable trust from you for her future. I pray Jeremiah 29:11 over her life today and I ask that you do incredible things in her life for your Kingdom.
Jesus, I need to trust you more than ever to open doors for me and my fiance. He was recently laid-off and we were already struggling financially before he lost his job. I thank you right now for ordering our steps and providing for my family…in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Praising God for your grateful heart and praying that He will continue to provide Jerri.
Jesus I trust in you! This is the quickest and I have found a powerful prayer that keeps me
centered. Nice blog today Nicki. Praying for commenters now.
Thanks Joe, I too love your prayer. Thank you for praying for the others too!
Hi Nicki
Thanks for these words today. We have been struggling with some things for a long time and I my ability to keep on trusting God is really waivering.
This is a great post! Sometimes it can be so hard to trust.
Thanks Heather, trust is hard. 🙂
Wayne…your words have moved me to tears. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea how much your support means. Yes, this blog has come a long ways since 2006. 🙂 Thankful for God’s presence and His continual shaping of our lives. Thank goodness He just never stops! I am continuing to trust, no matter what. 🙂
Praying for you Wayne, you are always welcome to share your struggles too on this blog. Its not just a girly place. 🙂 You never bore me! Praying for your daughter!
Thank you for praying!! Thankful for you Uncle Wayne. 🙂 I love that…
Hi Nicki… your words are so very true! My last blog post was along these same lines of thought… I never wanted to completely trust God… I was afraid of the life He had planned; I thought He would ask me to be some halo-wearing preacher’s wife…. Nope! That was not going to happen!!. I was always a control freak (still working on that) and thought I knew what was best for me. I knew what I wanted and I was going to take that path, no matter what. Hmmm… yeah, that just doesn’t work with God. After many years of running and doing things my own way, one moment shattered everything! That was the day I fell to knees and surrendered. I did not trust God most of my life. I was so tired of growing up hearing the words from my parents, “God is in control”… or “Just pray about it”… Not very comforting when you need better answers… when you need to feel His love, not just read about it. But on July 4, 2009, when my world collapsed… everything I knew was taken away from me. I was helpless to solve any of my problems. At that point in time, when I had to rely completely on God…. for my marriage, children, healing, housing, food, automobile, clothing… I learned to trust Him very quickly!! And you know what… I learned the more I trusted Him, the more He “entrusted” to me! The more I trusted Him…. the more peace and joy filled my life. The more I trusted Him… the more I felt His love! The more I continue to trust Him… the more my prayers are being answered “Immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine…” (Ephesians 3:20-21a) God is soooo awesome! Thank you for a wonderful post! I am still trusting God each and every day for my reconciled marriage, restored family, healed baby and blessed finances. “For Nothing is Impossible with God!” (Luke 1:37) Tara 🙂
http://www.createdtobebeautiful.wordpress.com
(Sorry if this is a repeat for you, I posted this on the crosswalk website, but since there were so many comments, not sure it would get directly to you)…
Hi Nicki… your words are so very true! My last blog post was along these same lines of thought… I never wanted to completely trust God… I was afraid of the life He had planned; I thought He would ask me to be some halo-wearing preacher’s wife…. Nope! That was not going to happen! I was always a control freak (still working on that) and thought I knew what was best for me. I knew what I wanted and I was going to take that path, no matter what. Hmmm… yeah, that just doesn’t work with God. After many years of running and doing things my own way, one moment shattered everything! That was the day I fell to knees and surrendered. I did not trust God most of my life. I was so tired of growing up hearing the words from my parents, “God is in control”… or “Just pray about it”… Not very comforting when you need better answers… when you need to feel His love, not just read about it. But on July 4, 2009, when my world collapsed… everything I knew was taken away from me. I was helpless to solve any of my problems. At that point in time, when I had to rely completely on God…. for my marriage, children, healing, housing, food, automobile, clothing… I learned to trust Him very quickly! And you know what… I learned the more I trusted Him, the more He “entrusted” to me! The more I trusted Him…. the more peace and joy filled my life. The more I trusted Him… the more I felt His love! The more I continue to trust Him… the more my prayers are being answered “Immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine…” God is soooo awesome! Thank you for this much needed post! I am still trusting God each and every day for my reconciled marriage, restored family, healed baby and blessed finances. “For Nothing is Impossible with God!” http://www.createdtobebeautiful.wordpress.com.
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