Within each of us is a desire to know one another fully; the good, the bad and the ugly. We hope for relationships in which we can completely be authentic but find ourselves aimlessly trying to find them.
Do such places really exist?
I find myself rejecting the bad and the ugly of people while I embrace the good.
In the midst of a heated conversation…I bared through the quick stabs, the false judgments and the disappointed-driven statements. But as soon as the conversation was finished, I wanted to delete this person’s phone number, un-friend them on Facebook and wholly walk away from the relationship.
I ashamedly admit… I quit people more quickly than I should.
Tears fill my eyes as I write that statement… and something stirs in my soul; a need for a bigger place for grace.
A place for grace isn’t about the false expectations we have for people. It’s not about a soul that will never ache from harshly spoken words or a life never disappointed by someone again.
It’s a place where there is a deep longing to love people as though Jesus himself loves them through us…the wide-open space in our souls; to give grace because we have received grace.
For some life is about being right, proving points and pointing out the faults of others. These virtues will seem to carry for …a moment. But in the place for grace, misunderstandings and unmet expectations will become moments of speaking life and giving hope.
I get how we lose sight of our focus but may we be reminded that failures are a part of the spiritual training process. We can stay frustrated with people or we can allow the exercise of grace to fuel our reactions.
The place for grace will empower each of us to have the hard conversations when agreed expectations are not met but in a way that honors God and one another.
I am challenged today to live in a place where the picture is of grace is a little more clear. Hebrews 12:15 teaches us as embrace God’s grace for ourselves and others, then we can more easily let go of the things that crowd out grace in our hearts: pride, anger, bitterness and rivalry.
Here are 3 suggestions to help us have room for grace today:
1. Try to understand the circumstances of life for other people. You never know what someone is going through.
2. Assume the best of someone who disappointed you. 75% of misunderstandings come from false assumptions.
3. Choose words carefully. Words bring life or death to a soul. Think things through before reacting in anger.
I’d love for us to create community today and share ways we can give and receive grace more freely, click the “comments” above and share your thoughts. 🙂
8 Comments
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I’ve been a long time reader but have never commented on your post. But I couldn’t read this one and not comment. This post stepped all over my toes. Your comment about quitting people more quickly then you should resonated deep within me because I to have an issue with this. I let people get the best of me and I get my feelings hurt way to easily. I have to high of expecations for people that they are unable to meet which is my fault and then I refuse to lower the bar because I’m to quick to just up and leave the frienship without explaining why I’m so upset. I don’t give them a second chance. I forget that God gives me so much grace that I don’t deserve but yet I’m so slow to give it to others. I’m working on this and have recently discovered a new found love for grace in my own life and in doing so have started giving more grace to others and have rekindled some old friendships with some that I ended way to abruptly because I was to eager to quit. Thank you for this post. I love your blog and your willingness to be so open about what’s on your heart.
I’m so glad you left a comment today! It’s nice to hear from you. 🙂
Grateful this post spoke to you…I hear you. Praying that you will continue to work through this journey of grace with me. Glad to know I’m not alone. 🙂
Wow!! Is this an ongoing area of growth for all of us, or what?? I am so glad I found you today because this is just something that happens all the time in our lives. I truly feel how we handle ourselves in conflict speaks volumes about how we feel about Christ. In the same token, admitting we struggle and making things right when we fail is the key! I LOVE your 3 suggestions to work toward Grace in our lives. The last one especially spoke to me!!
I had a situation, similar to the one you described, where I sat on the phone being falsely accused, screamed at and wrongly judged. This was a fellow Christ follower from my church. I was on bed rest with my pregnancy and felt I should be the one receiving Grace from HER! Right?? Wrong… it was a BIG lesson on Grace for me. My knee-jerk reaction was the same as yours, de-friend this girl on Facebook, shut her out of my life and believe me- people agreed. It was harsh. I decided to just sit on it a while. In the meantime, I read in a bible study that if you really WANT to “Matthew 18” someone and you are, more or less, looking forward to exposing them for who they are- don’t do it! I took this to heart. If she needed discipline by God, then I do too for a million different things!
I am so happy I waited and then actually ended up asking for her forgiveness. For whatever reason, she was hurt. I was truly sorry for that. I never did the things I was accused of nor did I intend to hurt her in anyway. Misunderstandings, just like you said, are the major cause of conflict. Sorry to go on and on. But, this is such a crucial topic and applies to everyone! Thank you for your blog!
Dede, thanks so much for leaving this comment…I was encouraged by your story! Blessings!
Dede,
You made a great point in saying; “How we handle ourselves in conflict speaks volumes about how we feel about Christ.”. Those words stood out to me and I felt the Holy Spirit highlighted them to address an area where I struggle. I hope you don’t mind me writing your quote down to use as a reference for myself and to share. Thanks! Be blessed! 😀
Beautiful post and so true. Just as we need Grace in our lives, we need to extend much grace. I need to extend grace as it was/is being extended to me. Thanks for the sweet reminder.
What beautiful words that you have written. I think if we all in this world would follow that advice, especially myself …this world would be a much better place to live. Thank-you for that message I have saved it on my favorites. God bless you!
God bless you, I needed to hear this..
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