A few nights ago I had the rare treat of going out to dinner with no kids. It was just me and my parents so we choose a little quaint restaurant. It was a perfect spring night so we decided to sit at a table on the outdoor patio.
While waiting for our food, I couldn’t help but notice the people at the table next to us.
A mom, dad and a little girl were playing a game of “Go-Fish.” It was a sweet sight and the little girl was ecstatic with the game. A few minutes later the waitress carried their salads, sandwiches and kids chicken finger meal to their table and they began to eat. A few seconds into her first bite, the little girl accidentally dipped her hands in the Ketchup. It was a big mess so in order to clean her hands, she wiped them on her shirt.
The dad leaned over to wipe her shirt with a napkin and very sternly told her to not do that again. But as you may know, sometimes little people have a hard time understanding the napkin concept. So when she poured more Ketchup, she made a bigger mess and… wiped her hands on her shirt again.
This time though the dad became very angry, “No! Don’t you see what you are doing!? Stop doing this, NOW!”
My heart sank as I watched the little girls happy facial expression drop to a frown. I could really tell, she didn’t do it on purpose. I’m sure this dad was just having a rough day and maybe his little girl did this every time they went out to dinner. But after hearing his voice and seeing her face… my soul felt so convicted.
Because I’ve said similar words, in a similar tone, to little girls who didn’t mean to make a mess.
“No! You may NOT have an inch worm collection IN the house. This is gross and there are bugs everywhere!”
“No! Finger paints are not for furniture. My white bench is ruined now!”
“No! I know you wanted to play dress up, but look at this mess with these clothes now!”
As moms and dads it’s easy to forget how short these years are we have with our babies. We just want our house to stay clean for like 3 hours, our cars to not be filled with kid-rubble, and sometimes… we just want their little shirts to stay clean.
I get that.
But over the past few weeks, I realized how often I’ve been saying “no” to my little girls messes. Truthfully, most of the time my “no’s” are not because they are doing something harmful to themselves…its because I get frustrated with the mess. Kids definitely need boundaries and limits on their lives. Teaching our kids discipline, respect and the need to be tidy are important lessons.
But parents, sometimes I believe our kids just need us to… “let their shirts be dirty.”
This is difficult for me but I’ve been stretching my parenting by saying “yes to the mess” whenever possible.
“Yes, you may plant sunflower seeds wherever you’d like to. I’ll see the random sprouts all over our yard this summer as a reminder of your love to make things grow.”
“Yes, you may make a car out of a box and use whatever you can find.”
“Yes, you may take a shower outside… with the hose. It will get you [mostly] clean but today I’ll take what clean I can get.”
Raising kids is one of the hardest things we will ever do. I am afraid I mess up more than I do well but I’m challenged to keep trying.
Maybe you will join me in this challenge today?
Let’s let their little hands be messy because one day… those little hands will be big. Let’s let their finger paint projects ruin our pretty furniture because one day… there will be no more finger painting. Let’s let their shirts be dirty because one day… there will be no more little dirty shirts to wash.
4 Comments
xxxdoc.monster tattooed cab driver licks busty babe.
I am a follower of Proverbs 31 Devotionals, and today I decided to visit. I am always at awe at authors that I come and read but leave no footprints.
Today, I was reading back and come upon this post. It reminded me of a Missionary kid. He was around 6 at that time. We had an inter-church activity at a Bible School where his dad works. He was playing barefoot at a monkey bar, all sweaty and messy. Someone commented about it and he responded in an authoritative tone, “It is alright for boys to be messy!”
I so admired the way their Momma brought them up…. to be kids while they are kids.
Thank you for this wonderful post.
I really enjoyed the above devotional. My 3 year old has some challanges (apraixa and a sensory processing disorder) and at times I think more about how to help him and what activity to do at the moment to build his skills rather than just having fun. I tend to not live in the moment and I need to really remember to enjoy my family because they are such a blessing.
So true!:) I just said goodbye to my little girl headed off to her last day of 5th grade, her older brother left an hour or so ago for his last day of 7th grade. I stop and ponder often lately, how can I soon be the parent of an 8th grader and a 6th grader, where has time gone? I am blessed to have stayed home with them in all there little years and we have mostly great memories, and a few, I wish I’d shown more grace. Several, that I wish I would not have been a slave to my own cleaning scheduled and played more with my kids. Today, I have learned that lesson the hard way, for all you moms struggling for perfection, can I tell you something, perfect, is boring…:)
Strive to have Jesus at the center of your life and embrace each day you get with your kids, and make as many memories as you can…. I say this, because not only am I watching my kids grown up before my eyes entirely to fast, but because I’m also a cancer survivor of 8 years, and I truly have been blessed to see all my daughters birthday candles and watch her blow them out.:) I remember the day I lay on her bed over 8 years ago reading her a bedtime story before her nap and wondering if I’d still be able to see her blow out her next birthday candle, or read her another book before laying her down to sleep. But by Gods amazing grace, I did…
Every day is a blessing to see them grow, and everyday is a reminder of all of those who didn’t make it..:( So yes, in the mist of all that dirt in my house, the sink full of dirty dishes and the piles of laundry that i think are coming out of the wood work, i am a blessed woman, very blessed.:)
I can’t wait for the kids to get home from school so we can go celebrate summer at our new little ice cream store in town. My apologizes for rambling.
I just love this post Nicki. this past weekend my 2 granddaughters ages 3 and 4 stayed with me for 3 days. It is not the first time and I love them so much, the same as they loved me, however, I have been beating myself up over the fact that I was not a very good MiMi! I wanted the house kept straight, toys picked up almost every hour, no running though the house, manners to be used at all times, etc. they were not terrible, I was!! What was I thinking?? I regret it so bad and wish I could do the whole weekend over. After all it was only 3 days.
Comments are closed.