I had another blog post planned for today, but something happened today and the post just doesn’t seem fitting now. So I am being obedient to the impressing on my heart to process this {on the blog} as much as I don’t want to.
I’m hesitating as I type these words because I’m afraid they will come across wrong.
But you all have taken all these twenty-two days of my processing fairly well so hopefully this will be okay today…
Someone shared some exciting news with me today. It wasn’t news they were expecting but oddly enough just a week ago they shared with me they had a dream this very situation occurred.
I tried to act happy but it was hard. Why? Because it was an “interruption” I’d been hoping for in my life.
They’ve been asked to “go” to a place my soul longs to be.
I think today this process of interrupt must feel so similar to when someone is trying to get pregnant and all their best friend announces they are pregnant.
You want to be so excited for them, but it’s hard because your heart aches.
Yes, we should always be happy for others when they move into something great for their lives. Yes, we should support and cheer the people we can get behind. Yes, we should believe incredible things for each other.
And I know, this process of Interrupt is about experiencing the great things of God in the “here”, “now” and “today.” It’s not about going…
But as my heart is open before God today, it holds some hurt and I know God sees. So why should I hide it from others? One of my favorite Bible verses is this, “God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him.” –Psalm 34:4-5 {MSG}
He can handle these questions in my soul…
“God, do you see me?”
“God, do you hear my aches?”
“God, do you know how every bit of this desire to be interrupted is for You?”
While I know He does see, He does hear and He does know my motives… today is still hard.
5 Comments
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This can be tough to handle. Might I ask what the “interruption” you had been hoping for that your friend is going to experience? Where is it your soul longs to be?
Africa. 🙂
I know that place of hurt, friend. To look from the outside as others have your dreams come true in their lives. I have been told and I am holding on to the belief that the longing, desire, and anticipation of my own dreams will make the experience much sweeter once my dreams are my reality. He knows the deisres of our hearts. I am praying for you today. Praying your hurt will ease and you continue to hold on to and believe in your dreams… I KNOW they will come true, because He knows your heart’s desires.
Katie, this comment brought so much to my heart today… thank you for leaving these words with me. I know you know. We all long for things in different ways but the feeling for the longing I think is the same. Love you. Tucking this away in my heart today…
One of our greatest challenges as Christians is following God’s calling for us, especially when it takes us places we don’t really want to go. God tells us that He will give us the desires of our heart. He knows how badly you want this, but He needs to prepare you first. Would you want to go without being fully prepared to do His work? I pray that God will give you the wisdom to see His calling for you now, and peace in your heart and soul.
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