Deep within all of our hearts is a longing to be valued at what we do. So it’s easy to understand why we frequently enter into the game of comparison in our minds.
And we all know comparison isn’t something we should do. But let’s face it; we are going to compare. And maybe a little comparison isn’t so bad.
When comparison starts to ruin us though is when we begin feeling like other’s gifts, talents and abilities somehow threaten us.
I saw this the other day in one of my daughter’s…
She was working super hard on a project but there seemed to be another girl who always did everything better than her. And my daughter found herself in a pool of tears of frustration feeling like she’d never measure up to this girl.
Several valuable moments of her day were wasted while she compared her abilities to this girl.
But this isn’t something just young girls wrestle through.
And if we don’t recognize the feeling of being threatened while comparing, the wasted moments can turn into days, then weeks, then months and years.
Yes, there’s a longing to be the best at the things we work hard for.
However, we must somehow accept that in the process of developing our gifts, talents and abilities there is always going to be someone who can do what we do better.
And I believe for every woman who struggles with comparison, there’s a woman deeper within us:
The Un-Threatened Woman
She is the woman who allows the gifts, talents and abilities of others to inspire her; not conspire against her.
She is the woman who stays in a posture of learning.
She is the woman who consistently cheers others on.
She is the woman who works hard at whatever she does.
And then one day,
She is the woman who has found her beautiful, unique and powerful rhythm. Her gifts, talents and abilities are able to fully develop because her time has been well spent.
Friend, I want to be this woman. And while I will continue to struggle through comparison, today I won’t let feelings of being threatened waste my time. I’m finding such power in this:
“Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward.For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.” -Hebrews 10:35
What about you?
Do you struggle with not letting comparison threaten you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments today…
12 Comments
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I just had these feelings on Saturday. They had me in tears for a few hours. I always feel like this waisted my valuable time. It’s someone very prominent in my life that makes these feelings poor out. She is always knocking me down. I know I have complete acceptance from The Lord…I pray I may never let this person give me these feelings again. Thanks for this post!
I’m sorry Amanda, I know this is a hard struggle. Praying for strength for you today. 🙂
Hello Nicki.
I can relate to this in so many ways. I find myself comparing myself to other women, whenever it comes to physical features. It starts from head to toe and eventhough I feel that I look great, there is always someone who appears to look better and appear healthier. I want to be the un-threatened woman as well. I often wondered if you ladies who write and speak for Proverbs 31 and your individual blogs, ever compare yourselves to one another. You all have your very own unique way in how you minister to others through writing and speaking. I enjoy reading your blogs, they are inspiring and cause me to really dig deep and think. Thank you for sharing and blessings!
Hi Latosha,
Thanks so much for your comment. 🙂
While I can’t speak for the other P31 ladies I will be honest and say its hard for me to not compare myself to them. But I don’t let the comparisons threaten me. I’m still trying to find my unique rhythm so its important for me to not get lost in who they are. But, I am also so blessed to learn while I sit under their teachings and leadership.
Yes I struggle sometimes with comparing myself but have learned not to linger in those thoughts for long (with the help of some fabulous women). I have always known and believed that we are all special in our own way, even since middle school, which is why it is easy for me to encourage others even when I doubt myself.
Some of us take a little longer to discover our purpose (me) and need reminders like this from people like you. Thanks for not being afraid to write about real stuff!!
Love you Mary. 🙂
Nikki,
This is such an an awesome article! Raising 3 girls myself has taught me so much about myself! It has also allowed me to KNOW where my identity come from! Wow! We will be sitting down this morning and using this post as our devotional this morning! Thank you!
Amy
Thanks Amy! And thank you for sharing this with your girls. You truly blessed me this morning. 🙂
Hey Nicki,
Thanks so much for this…I need to share this with my teenage daughter…high school is so full of drama and comparison. Thanks for your words of wisdom!!!
ONE MORE YESS!!!
I was struck last fall by a thought that I found quite helpful when it comes to comparing ourselves with others. The short post I wrote on it is here: http://kingsgrass.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/kickball-pulpit-a-six-year-old-teaches-me-about-envy/ I am so happy my friend shared one of your posts on facebook-I’m glad to have found this site!
“One More Yes”
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