Last night I laid down on the couch in my office and just wept.
I’ve been having a hard time putting my thoughts into words and processing what my soul has been wading through the past few weeks.
Life has been moving quickly. Life has been full … of good things and also hard things. Yet there’s this deep place of emptiness and a lack of understanding where this unsettling has come from.
I want to blame my childhood.
Nothing was ever the same. We were always on the move. Relationships were always changing. I knew to never get to close to anyone because in an instant, they too could be gone.
This is how life was in the military and it’s been hard to place roots in this world.
I want to blame my early adolescent years.
Wading through hurt in the church and a handful of kids before the age of twenty-five. I feel like I could have missed the moments which shape us into adults.
I want to blame something … someone.
But what if there is no one to blame, no finger to point, no check mark to place … what if this place of continual unsettling is just who God created me to be?
I’ve always hesitated in calling myself a creative. But maybe at the age of thirty-five I’m finally getting comfortable in my own skin. Caring less and less what others think.
It just seems when one calls themselves a creative it would seem as though I have some rare, exceptional gift of painting, hand lettering or photography.
The truth is, I feel pretty …
creative-average.
Always tapping into the desire to create but never really fully developing the talent.
Maybe you can relate to this. Maybe you can’t.
But I believe within each of us there is a place of deep unsettling when we aren’t becoming all God has created us to be. We chase dreams, we have to work, we wait for kids, we raise kids, we stay married, we wait to be married, we punch time clocks …
But are we really fulfilled?
111 times in the Bible the word create or created is used.
And create means to bring something into existence. And I am finding my place of unsettling is coming from the desire to … create.
There are so many beautiful things out there … words, pictures, songs but I really believe there’s more that has yet to exist.
And maybe you like myself have just lost the place we once longed for. Not intentionally, not purposefully and there’s no one to blame … it just happened.
So, if you feel like you’ve lost the creative bug … me too.
But here’s a few things I think we can do to get it back:
1. Find your place of creativity with God again.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” -Psalm 51:10
This is where I’m starting today. Asking God to help me remember the passions He’s given for things like piano music, photography and writing. I’ve let myself become so full of things I thought was what would fulfill me … good things but they aren’t the right things. Only God can show us these places.
2. Get off the things that drain your creative juices.
Decide each day to do something less to be able to do something more. Social media, email, the constant connections our culture offers really drain the creative flow, and let’s just be real … they are distractions. Even if you just turn your phone off for one hour and start there. If the world ends … you’ll know, in an hour. The emails will be there tomorrow. And that text message … it can wait. Protect this sacred place where creativity needs to flow. You’re the only one who can do it.
3. Refuse to believe the lie that there’s not enough time.
Yes, work has to be done. Bills have to be paid. Laundry has to be completed. And life has to be lived. But this excuse has numbed me the past few months. And I’ve become a little bit of a perfectionist in that if I don’t think I can fully do it … I don’t do it at all. If you had time scroll social media, you had time to create. If you had time to watch TV, you had time to create. Sure, maybe we have to get up earlier, manage our days better but where there is a want … there is a way.
So creative friend. Yes, I called you a creative. You didn’t lose it. It just got pushed back a little. But today is the best day to bring it back to surface. You’re not average.
Let yourself be unsettled … it might just bring forward the greatest “something” that has yet to be created.
[ps- The winner of last week’s giveaway was: Keelsi Booth! Congratulations!!]
29 Comments
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This is so timely for me!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
We’re on the same page! Haha
You have no idea how timely this is for me. Love you Nicki!
Great post and great suggestions.
Love this Nicki! I get you and this message! Thanks so much for sharing and being creative in your writing!
Thank you Nicki! You just put into words what I have been fighting with in my soul! I love the suggestions, especially starting with God first, always first!! I am so grateful to be reading your 5 Habits Book and “sharing life” together via OBS and your blog! I am close to being old enough to be your Mom! but I am grateful to learn from you and the wisdom beyond your years! Prayers for you and your beautiful family.
Nicki, Thank you for sharing. I am so with you. I want so bad to write a blog and/or a book and something always stops me. Mostly my fear of who knows what…. Anything and everything. But your guide lines of how to reconnect with God first and self second are awesome! There is time! I am going to find it today!
LOVE this Nicki! I’m working hard on #2.
Thank you for sharing Nicki !! This means so much to me at this particular time. You speak a lot of what I have been feeling!! Thank you for being real !! ????????
Oh Nicki I cannot thank you enough for sharing from your heart. I have tears in my eyes because I haven’t been able to pinpoint this deep unsettling feeling. It’s been a busy season and yet I feel like it’s never enough and something is missing. The last few days I’ve been working on a project that documents my week through photos and journaling. It’s been something that brings me so much joy. I’ve missed my hobbies!! Thank you for this reminder!!
I love your heart Nicki! You help me love myself better.. we are alike in so many ways though I’m old enough to be your mom! Keep creating and pouring your heart into things. It helps us! It changes our lives. It fills our empty places! Love ya!
So well put!! I’m on a quest to read the Bible front to back by the end of this year. I knew I needed to start each day with Christ. I felt like something was missing. I decided it may be a longing for time with God. What better way than read the Bible. Before I check my emails or begin the remainder of my day, I have breakfast with God. It puts my mind and plans for the day into perspective. I now do what I can do and if I don’t get everything done, tomorrow is a new day!
Thank you for your wonderful timing! I have started to crochet again. After many years of doing nothing. I feel so fulfilled when I finish making something! I’m going to continue creating something out of yarn.
Thank you, NIcki. Yes, there are creative activities that I can do that I have not done in quite a while. Thank you for reminding me that God made us creative beings. Have a great summer.
Thank you Nicki; very well said! I love all three points, especially #1; thank you for remembrance of this Bible verse.
LOVE THIS!THANK YOU GREAT HELPERS TO PONDER THIS JOURNEY! t.
LOVE this, Nicki! Thanks tons! #TimeToBeCreative
Thank you for this!
This was so perfect for me to hear! Thank you so much for your wonderful insight! I feel like you were talking directly to me!
Thank you so much for your honesty, Nicki. Thank you for persevering with your 5 Habits book. I thank God for giving you the creativity to write it! It’s so helpful to me and almost every day I find myself thinking, “Are you quitting on this? You’re quitting. Don’t quit!” I realize that often I’m quitting on trusting in God. Thank you so much for not quitting when you wrote it!!
This definitely spoke to my heart today! Thank you, thank you!
Thank you! Thank you! I’ve been so very unsettled lately with this itch and angst inside of me that there’s more. More that I want to be doing, and yet don’t know how to get to the point of doing it. it’s such a battle inside of me that I constantly question the “call” to do it. For me, the “it” is writing and creating. So many times I feel like I’m on the edge of jumping into something beautiful but unknown and it scares me, so I step back. Then that worrisome feeling happens in my chest that tells me that I’ve missed out. I’ve got to keep stepping forward and then step off. 🙂 Your verse hit the spot.
I read this message after I saw your Facebook post with the verse Philippians 4:8 and clearing the clutter from our minds! I put these two together after reading this post and had a WOW moment! I just love how God is working in your life to help us in our lives! I love what He is teaching me thru you!
I listened to the feathers pod cast months ago to hear someone specific and that was it. I have recently had a boiling in my tummy to do more, create more and share more. I actually asked a friend how to calm the desire. Last Tues I accidently opened my pod cast app and right there was two in a half seasons. I started listening were I left off and couldn’t stop. By Fri. I had ended with you. Love Love Love. in a few short paragraphs, God has used your words to answer my questions. You have given me scripture to pray, and a new way of thinking. Thank Ypu
So grateful for the 5 Habits of a Woman Wo Doesn’t Quit! For the first time, in a ver long time, I feel the fruits of “not quitting”. I haven’t stepped on my scale for several weeks out of fear of the number I would see staring back at me. With a leap of faith, I did it this morning, and I have lost 4 lbs!! Praise the Lord. What a powerful feeling. My other “not quitting” praise is that I have been working so very hard had decreasing out debt so we can buy a home. I sat down this morning to balance my expense and snowball sheets and what a feeling!!!! Paid off 3 credit cards and our truck!!! Love the feeling of empowerment through Christ to continue on my journey of not quitting!
Thanks to the OBS team for all you do for us all 🙂
Oh yes! I agree I have let social media and television distract me. I am also a creative individual in writing, art, and fashion.
comparison.. where i used to be, still fall into. God made me.. and uniquely He did.. NO one else can fulfill the assignment and do this part….thank you God and help me to do my part well. with you ~ all things are possible
I am excited to try to win this. I really need help and reminders not to compare myself to others bot old habits die hard.
I loved this blog! I can’t imagine one gift being better than the other. I love jewelry, yet the stripped bag would hold my books, or who wouldn’t want to look more beautiful with mascara? I like signs and note papers…oh just too much to choose. Each item unique in it’s own way.
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