Do you ever feel like you wish you could just tell everyone the real story?
I’ve never seen so many false assumptions of others being thrown around as I’m seeing right now. We seem to be unknowingly writing stories for each other every single day.
I know social media has played a huge role in the shift I’m seeing.
After all, there’s no way I’m going to post a picture of my husband and I arguing or tell you the super sassy thing my teenage daughter just said to me.
And you most likely wouldn’t do this either.
The need to protect the ones and things we hold closest sometimes tells a story unlike the one that is actually being written. And with so many words buzzing in on our phones all day, it’s getting harder and harder to remember who-said-what-when-and-where.
I want to close it all down. Quiet my soul space from the stories others write about us. But it seems like the assumption-story-writing-process is getting louder and louder.
And I so badly want to say to the commenter who says, “I wish we were friends in real life.”
If you only knew how much I longed for relationships which didn’t desire a connection to this or that person or even anything. Just friendship. It feels like a rare thing these days.
I wish we were friends too.
I want so badly to say to the reader who says, “I wish you wouldn’t say things like _________.”
If you only knew how carefully I consider my words. The agony I feel as I press send on each post I share, or even Bible verses these days. The fear of this or that. It seems like no matter what I post or don’t post, someone wants to complain about it. If you only knew how much I don’t just “put those rude comments to the side.”
I want to walk into the room of people smarter than me and say …
If you only knew how ridiculous I feel when I speak, the lack of knowledge I have about this or that … how it keeps me awake at night. How much it makes me want to quit and just let the smart people take over.
If you only knew …
Oh there’s a million little stories I wish you only knew.
This need to be authentic, yet honoring, yet truthful, yet hopeful … it’s such the struggle for me right now.
But I know there are things people assume about you too.
Stories have been written for you.
Conclusions about your life are quickly jumped to.
You are confused with someone else.
I wish I could tell you I have a solution for this uninvited story-writing-struggle. But the sobering news is we really can’t do anything with the stories that others write about us.
But here’s where I’m finding hope today …
While I can’t control the stories others write for me,
I can control the stories I write.
And so, as I’m scrolling through social media I’m reminding myself …
These are humans behind these profile pictures.
And as I’m admiring the success of this person, I’m reminding myself …
There’s a whole lot I’ve never seen about how they got to this point.
And before I accuse someone of saying something …
I’m taking the time to make sure it was in fact them that said it.
And I’m holding this verse a little closer …
28 Comments
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Love what you wrote and how you wrote it.
Thanks Tennille!
Oh Nicki! This is so true. I feel the same way…seeking friendships without the comparison and all the other things that sometimes come along with making new friends. Love your words!
Thanks Jen, xoxo
Love this post!! It speaks truth to me. How I long for that sweet friendship you described. You are precious and I appreciate your gift of words to express your honesty and encouragement!! Blessings!!!
Thanks Michelle!
Your words…wow. I identified with them SO much. Thank you for posting this…it gave me a lot to think about, and the Bible verse is so perfect. ❤️️
Thanks Audra!
Nicki, thank you for this posting today. Even though we don’t know each other personally, you touched my heart. There is so much ‘stuff’ out there today, but I cherish when I hear from you. Even though we all want those friendships, I can see how , in this world of technology, we are growing into a nation of people communicating only through social media. We need to take the time and love to build those friendship we all desire.
Nicki, I pray you will have a wonderful God-loving day.
Linda, thank you for your kind words and encouragement. They blessed me!
I love this and love the reminder. I too try to remember that there is a lot happening behind the “highlight reels” because I experience it first hand in my own life. Assumptions can be so wrong. Thank you Nicki!!!
Well-said, Nicki. It is always good to be reminded that we don’t have the whole story – and we are all a people in need of unending grace. Blessed by you, dear one! Have a great day.
You know Nicki you are so wise and right on with the words of truth you wrote this morning. Let us as girlfriends with each other and through our blessed relationship with our Lord continue to share these fabulous words with others. The truth of our lives not what one thinks our lives are like. It’s hard when families become divided over words and relationships too. But if we trust God to give us the right words to tell our true story, in time maybe we can create unity of love in all relationships accepting people for who they are and not try to tell their stories our way.
Blessings on your continued ministry path. You are a true blessing to me!
There is so much good in being able to connect with millions of people so easily, such as hearing your voice but with the good comes so much bad it seems. Thank you for sharing your words and please always do when you feel called to do so. The benefit of your words outweighs all the bad and has changed and helped my heart to know that it’s okay in every way and that I am not alone. Thank you Nicki 🙂
Never doubt that you affect people in a positive way with your words. Your sensitivity and insight in this blog post is clearly evident. I always enjoy your perspective and more often than not, learn something. We are not all the same, and social media seems to have given a platform for people to feel entitled to express their opinion and deride those that disagree. This is sad to me and I pray that whatever is the hurt in someone who behaves this way is healed. Please continue your posts, as Sara said, the benefit outweighs the bad! Blessings!
Thank you for being so careful with the words you write. They are life-giving and uplifting. Keep up the good work.
Love this and love you.
xo
Special message that we all need to read. Thank you Nicki. Hugs
Wow. Encouraging words. Ive felt like some of whst you wrote. Thanks for your honesty
Oh Nicki. I am really struggling with some assumptions posted about me. By my own daughter.
Waving my Jesus flag doesn’t mean I think I am perfect, it is simply a reflection of how much I need Him because of my weaknesses.
Wow Nicki!
Such insight and wisdom in your words today! I love how God uses you to push me forward (to be more like Him). The occasional stepping on my toes is just an added bonus! Girl, your ministry is changing and challenging women world-wide!
NIcki – wow, God brought me to your Blog today – I needed to hear your heart on this matter. I feel like you wrote the words my heart has been yearning to say. To know that I am not the only one who wishes, that people could see how very hard it is to live in this world as a Christian Woman the words yo have to say CAREFULLY and how you say them…which to omit, which to delete. So afraid you will offend and ruin a friendship. This has been my struggle…Thank you for putting my heart on page….as I know it is yours as well. This gives me Hope and Courage to keep on keeping on,
Blessings to you.
Teresa
I love how you said this. 4 weeks ago I was sent a letter from the Associate Pastor to have a meeting with him and one other person about something that was said 3 years ago, that to this day still hurts. I chose to not only not be ambushed by him and whomever he wanted in that “meeting”, I also chose to leave the church and attempt to find another church which hasn’t been easy. 3 years ago that man told me after I had filled out the application to help with my children’s youth group that I wasn’t “model” enough to help because of my past. I was devastated, and I am sorry but I did not forgive this man nor did I allow myself other than attending an occasional bible study to get actively involved in the church. I didn’t know what him and his wife had spread about me as I was forced to almost disclose everything on that “application”. The only reason I attended the church is because my kids did and still do love the youth group program. It is absolutely amazing to me how much one person’s thoughts can destroy a person and Nicki I too am very careful what I put on Social Media and share even in online bible studies.
Thanks, I enjoy your blog so much. You inspire me to be a better me.
Nicki, I am thinking about the old adage if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all… but I do believe in loving conviction and shared thoughts that are truth with encouragement… thank you for your honesty! God bless!
I appreciated this so much! I have so many “fears”, apprehension, depression, over what is happening and how things are changing. You’re comments about, “If you only knew”, I could write a book on that. My 1st would be: if you only knew I had a homosexual son who has just gotten “engaged” and how I hear all of the tacky, uncalled for comments! Do you have any clue how that makes me feel!” I appreciate you for being real, Nicki and allowing us to talk with you!
Thank you for your faithful service. I appreciate your heart, humor and writing. Enter me in the giveaway..please.
I placed this on the wrong blog entry. So sorry. I loved this particular post as well. I have struggled with what people say about me and my need to please people. I also can be harsh, critical and judgmental and sum people up in my eyes as opposed to seeing them through the lens of love. Thanks for this writing. I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you are creating a safe place for us to be and to share.
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