Episode #98 | Falling Into Place | Amanda Pittman

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Thank you for you. You talked about farm struggles. I have raised l, fixed, trained and broke the 3 horses and miniature donkey on our farm. We moved to Tennessee last year because I thought that it was my dream and I prayed about it for all my life. Things fell into place to make this possible. I was so happy to see my horses out all the time except when it got way too hot. They are my life since I was not able to have children. In May I got vaccines for everyone as usual and my two girls became really sick 45 minutes after injection. I called the vet with no return call so I called my old vet in my home town. He advised what to do. The horses had high fever, falling in the rear unstable and couldn’t lift there heads at all for days. I continued to pray for them to get better and asking God why. My girl I raised from birth seem to work her way through it after 10 days but Gypsy did not. She began having issues walking in the rear not wanting her head touched. I prayed so hard for God to heal her told her how beautiful she was and I was so sorry I hurt her by giving her these vaccines. It was all my fault. I continued to call the local vet with no response. I just wanted someone to come see her to help me. 2 months after the shots I found her laying in the stall she got right up she became week and couldn’t breathe I spent the whole night as long as I could with her. I was preparing for a tumor to be removed from my uterus the following week but I stayed and fought and sang to her amazing grace walked her did everything. Her brain had swollen and she passed away by my hand on our wedding anniversary August 30. I’m a wreck I blame myself everyday. I wanted them to bury me with her. I began to hate the place I moved. I was afraid to touch anything in the barn afraid I would make it die too. People keep telling me to get over it and move on. I just can’t I’m so broken that horse took my heart and soul. I have no friends here where
I moved and I’m just broken. I feel if I wouldn’t have moved she would be here. The barn is empty no noise from anyone just empty. I miss her and the way it used to be so much. I just keep asking why her God but I never get an answer.
Sorry for all this I just connected with you because I have a farm as well.
Thank you for letting me write this.

2 Comments

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Lori Ingle October 06, 2022

Thank you for you. You talked about farm struggles. I have raised l, fixed, trained and broke the 3 horses and miniature donkey on our farm. We moved to Tennessee last year because I thought that it was my dream and I prayed about it for all my life. Things fell into place to make this possible. I was so happy to see my horses out all the time except when it got way too hot. They are my life since I was not able to have children. In May I got vaccines for everyone as usual and my two girls became really sick 45 minutes after injection. I called the vet with no return call so I called my old vet in my home town. He advised what to do. The horses had high fever, falling in the rear unstable and couldn’t lift there heads at all for days. I continued to pray for them to get better and asking God why. My girl I raised from birth seem to work her way through it after 10 days but Gypsy did not. She began having issues walking in the rear not wanting her head touched. I prayed so hard for God to heal her told her how beautiful she was and I was so sorry I hurt her by giving her these vaccines. It was all my fault. I continued to call the local vet with no response. I just wanted someone to come see her to help me. 2 months after the shots I found her laying in the stall she got right up she became week and couldn’t breathe I spent the whole night as long as I could with her. I was preparing for a tumor to be removed from my uterus the following week but I stayed and fought and sang to her amazing grace walked her did everything. Her brain had swollen and she passed away by my hand on our wedding anniversary August 30. I’m a wreck I blame myself everyday. I wanted them to bury me with her. I began to hate the place I moved. I was afraid to touch anything in the barn afraid I would make it die too. People keep telling me to get over it and move on. I just can’t I’m so broken that horse took my heart and soul. I have no friends here where
I moved and I’m just broken. I feel if I wouldn’t have moved she would be here. The barn is empty no noise from anyone just empty. I miss her and the way it used to be so much. I just keep asking why her God but I never get an answer.
Sorry for all this I just connected with you because I have a farm as well.
Thank you for letting me write this.
- Nicki October 06, 2022
  
  Hi, Lori, wow. Farm life can be so hard and I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. We’ve lost several animals out here and I too know those feelings of “if this was different then they’d still be here.” The reality is, you gave that horse a beautiful life and your motive was only to help her. She knew that you loved her and cared for her. After our first horse Princess died from colic I couldn’t go in the barn either, it was so quiet and I couldn’t take it. I know how you feel. I encourage you to keep trying to love horses and be there for them. We need more good horse people in this country, I’ve come to understand there are a lot of not-good ones. I know you know this but it wasn’t your fault and I’m so sorry the vet didn’t come to your side to help you through that. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I’ll hold it close.

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