I want to be who I say I am.
This thought overwhelmed me today as I continue to uncover a truth I don’t want to believe… people lie.
The past few weeks, this journey of allowing God to interrupt my life has shaped me so much. I don’t want to be a person who says all these things on this blog and never does them. I don’t want to be a person sitting behind tweets and facebook status updates trying to inspire people and never actually live the words out myself.
I don’t want to be… a hypocrite.
Not because I care what anyone else thinks, but because as I continue to move into who I am… I can’t deal with the great pretenders of Jesus followers.
I believe authenticity is the greatest interruption we can have.
Allowing ourselves to truly become who we are is a beautiful process. But it’s one that requires some strength… it’s a process you can’t fake.
You can fake words.
You can fake books.
You can fake preaching.
You can fake leading.
You can fake liking.
But eventually your fakeness will catch up with you. If we really want God to be maximized in our lives, we have to see that our faith isn’t about our personal agendas.
We are all seriously flawed people. This much I understand. But what I can’t seem to grasp is how we can recognize our flaws, even identify our flaws to other people but never move into a place of recovery.
This Interrupt journey is a place of recovery for me. I have made plenty of mistakes as a woman seeking to understand the heart of God. But what a tragedy if I see these things and never move away from them.
Oh Jesus, I want you to keep interrupting my life because it makes me really become who I am.
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Real. That is what I am also striving to be. This world makes it hard to be real. But is it the world’s pressures of what we think we should be, or is it a too comfortable place. A place where we ” know” who we are and where we fit in, and in all honesty, don’t really want to change. Then there is the (blurred) dividing line of who we think we are, our family traits and habits that we have clothed ourselves with, and who God really made us to be. That is what I am really searching for, who God did make ME to be, and what is my purpose here on this earth.?
Lately I’ve been thinking that the last few years have been “interruptions”. I always seem to have my days planned and know what is going on, but then there is always something that throws it all out the window; visitors, sickness, someone needing help. Perhaps that is what life is supposed to be when we are not being real, an interruption, God’s quiet, but persistent knocking.
Love this Ria. Great thoughts.
Love it!
🙂
Souns like the heart of it, Ria!
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