Do I really have what it takes to live a life that is constantly interrupted by God?
Sometimes I think I’m a big-bad-Jesus-girl… those are the days where I’m ready to take the world on for Jesus. But then there’s other days where I feel like a scared puppy, wagging its tail between his legs and hiding under the front porch at the first “boo” from the enemy.
Today is this type of day.
Since I was a little girl I’ve always struggled with wondering if I was “good enough.” This type of thinking had nothing to do with my childhood… my mom and dad both gave me the keys to the world and told me I could do anything I set my mind on.
But I’ve always had this struggle… “I’m just not good enough.”
When you think about living a life interrupted by God in the everyday, common, ordinary… it sounds exciting. But when you really dig into it… there’s some scary stuff. There’s some hard stuff. There’s some things that you just aren’t sure… your “good enough” to do.
So as this Interrupt journey is coming to an end, I’m reflecting on what could be keeping me from what I really desire with God…
-Disobedience?
-Fear?
-Doubt?
-Sin?
The truth is… all of these things are my struggles. I want to find my freedom. I believe allowing God to interrupt this everyday-common-ordinary life is where the freedom is found. But, I’m also sure that its going to require some radical changes.
1. THIS life Interrupted is a new way of thinking.
2. THIS life Interrupted brings a new desire.
3. THIS life Interrupted needs radical obedience.
So what about you? As this journey is winding down what are some reflections/challenges/struggles you are facing?
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My biggest struggle is interrupting myself to hear Him. I mentioned earlier that my many blessings can also be my thorns. I live on a small horse farm, now just for 3 years. After many years of owning and showing horses, we decided it was time to look for our own place. It took us 3 1/2 years to find it. We own 4 beautiful horses, 2 dogs, and a cat. We have 15 acres less than a mile from Lake Michigan. We are truly BLESSED!! My 26yr. old son, who has Down Syndrome, just graduated from high school, but is struggling with low blood pressure and anemia. My 15yr old daughter, decided this year, after many different schools in the past, that she had had enough of the bullying and social hassles of high school, and asked to be home-schooled. After many years of being prompted by God to continue my education, I returned to college. I also give riding instruction, and have 2 very special students for the summer. In addition, my husband travels for his job, which does allow us to live where, and how we do. 2 months ago, I was diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes, and I do feel that this was God’s way of stopping me long enough to get my attention. We are so busy, that when an “interrupt” comes, we sail right through it, and on to the next task at hand. Quite often, if there is a message to be received, we miss it.
We see God, everyday, all around us. But we don’t often hear Him.
Again, my challenge is “interrupting” myself long enough to receive His message.
Wow Kim. Thank you for sharing more of your story with me… I know how to be praying for you now. You have a lot on your plate… a lot of God-interruptions. Praying now that you will feel His voice calling you when you need it the most.
Thank you! I am trying to be more AWARE as the moments pass!
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