You guys. Whoa.
This day has been like a mini tornado. Happy Friday! Even if it is the last hours of the day. I’m SOOOOO excited to introduce you to my friend Tara today. She has got a powerful message for us and hello … she’s giving away an iTunes gift card!! Woo hoo!!
Meet the lovely Tara …
Two inches.
I have spent years of my marriage fighting battles over issues as insignificant as two inches.
Recently, I asked my husband to hang two small art pieces in our kitchen.
The first miracle is that he did it the very next morning. (If you’re married you know what I’m talking about, right?) 😉
As he carefully measured and nailed into the wall I didn’t stand over him. I trusted him to do the task.
But, when he called me to come into the kitchen to look at his work I realized that he had done it all wrong.
All.
Wrong.
And I told him so in a very nice way.
(God is still so working on me!)
It just looked all wrong. I launched into my carefully constructed, clearly correct arguments based on my years of research and study through Pinterest, HGTV, and design magazines.
Trying to collect myself, with a deep breath, I say: “That’s not how the magazines say to do it.”
He says: “I’m not a magazine.”
I say: “Clearly. You’re wrong.”
And then, thankfully, the Holy Spirit interrupts my script.
Holy Spirit: “It’s just a tiny little picture and it’s just two inches.”
Me: “But it’s wrong!!!!!”
Holy Spirit: “But it’s ok! Let it go!!”
Me: “Humph! Whatever!”
I allow the Holy Spirit to shut me up but that doesn’t stop me from making a plan of my own. I’ll be quiet now but the next time my husband is out of the house I’ll just fix it myself.
How easily I fall back into my old habits of pride and self-sufficiency!
I pray Psalm 129:23: Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
Moments later, as I am still silently fuming, from the kitchen my husband says: “Come in here and show me where you want this.”
This is nothing short of a miracle.
It wasn’t that long ago that two inches would have been the impetus for a battle that would have lasted days. Days in which anger, bitterness, and resentment boil and fester within our hearts. Neither of us giving in, neither giving an inch. Instead, giving that inch to the enemy, just enough for him to take a mile of our thoughts: “My spouse doesn’t care about what I want. He(She) doesn’t care about me. He’s(She’s) never really loved me.”
It is so easy for us to go back there because that is where we lived for many years.
But, thank God, we don’t live there anymore.
Jesus is now in our home and in our hearts. Because of Him we are now able to allow one another second chances.We are learning to extend to one another the grace, mercy, and forgiveness that has been given to us.
One of the verses that God has brought to mind many times in my marriage is Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
In the coming year I want to make more of an effort to let my husband know how much I love and appreciate him.
How about you? If you’re married, what is something admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy about your husband?
And if you aren’t married, go on and give yourself a shout-out. What is something true, noble, or lovely about you?
Sisters, let us think about such things.
I would love to give you a date night with your hubby, but if you’re like my husband and me, acquiring a babysitter for date night can often prove difficult. So how about a date night at home? You can use this $25 itunes gift card to purchase music you both love, maybe a movie you didn’t make it to the theatre to see, or you can catch up on the latest season of your favorite TV show. Everyone who leaves a comment on this post will be entered to win! We will contact you on Monday via email if you are the winner!!
Hope you enjoy your date!
Connect with Tara by visiting her here:
Website: http://storyofmyheart.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Storyofmyheart2225/
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50 Comments
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Thankful for a husband that gets up every morning and goes to work, even on days he doesn’t want too.
I am grateful for my husband’s help around the house.
Wow…this is hard. I am not married, so I’m supposed to say something true, noble, or lovely about myself. I think a true thing about myself is that I long to grow closer to God and I strive to be in His will.
Thank you for your reminder from Philippians to focus on these things!
That’s awesome Maureen! Isn’t it so much easier to focus on our shortcomings rather than the true, noble, and lovely attributes that God has given us? I probably need to apply that verse more often to myself as well. 😉
Thank God for Jesus because I definitely understand this battle of which you speak. Early in our marriage, the “intense discussions ” around how toilet paper came off the roll or toothpaste came out the tube would astound you. Today, I am awed daily by my husband’s focus and attention on our aging mothers’ health and safety. He calls each of them several times each day, making sure all is well and just to check in. Love that!
Oh Linessa,
I can totally relate to “intense discussions” over toilet paper and toothpaste and just about everything else between my husband and I. We can both be so stubborn and strong-headed! Without Jesus, there is no way we would still be together today. I thank God everyday for my husband, my boys, and the fact that He has redeemed our family!! 😉
I admire my husband who goes above and beyond for my three girls and I. I can relate to Tara’s post and have been there myself. In these moments is when I stop and remind myself how incredibly blessed I am to have him. It helps to let the “little things” go!
This is such a timely message for me!! I am thankful for a husband raised my children as his own. He has loved them no matter what!!
Tara, thank you for sharing your heart!
I am thankful my Husband is calm, patient and understanding. I want to be more like him in these things!
My Husband is also an amazing Father to our 2 1/2 year old, who tells him that he is her best friend! ♡♡♡
Tina,
I always though that patience was one of my greatest virtues – but that was before I had children! 😉 I am so thankful for my husband’s patience through the many tears and temper tantrums in our house. My boys are 4 and 7 and we still have plenty of both!
And not to mention my husband’s patience with building Legos over and over and over!!
Second chances.
Not one. But two.
God is the giver of everything good for sure. For He gave me my husband. And this go around is incredible.
He goes to work everyday. Six days a week. Doesn’t have to. But he does. Because he loves us! He takes time with his family. Doesn’t have to. But he loves us. He leads this family well. Doesn’t have to. But wants to because he loves us.
Such a picture of our Heavenly Father uh? God doesn’t have to. But He loves us!
That’s the way it should be.
I love this beautiful reminder! My husband and I both battled his addiction to pain pills. For years, we fought, struggled and I cried. One night in the middle of the night, I was on our bathroom floor crying and begging God to change my husband. Instead, God told me to work on changing me. My heart had become so hardened and so bitter. The anger was all-consuming. When I told our marriage counselor that I wanted to pray each day for a love for my husband that could only come from the grace of God, he (our counselor) told me, “And God will provide. Just watch.” The power of prayer saved our marriage. I did not want to leave my husband without being able to look our daughter in the eye and saying, “we tried everything,” if in fact we had not.
My husband sought help and through our doctors, counselor and group meetings, my husband is no longer fighting his battle alone. He will always be an addict, but now he is a recovering addict. Day by day. Just like your two inches battle that wasn’t fought, doing the next right thing keeps love strong! For us, this scripture is what defines our marriage: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12
Jesus is our third strand.
Oh Aimee!
Thank you for sharing your story!! I have written more on my blog about my own marriage journey. A little over a year after I received Christ, when I thought things in my marriage were “all better” (and things were so much better than they had been) I found out my husband had been having an affair. I cried, I prayed, my world was rocked as never before. I did see a lawyer and I had plenty of “evidence.” I would have had it made in terms of child support and custody of my boys. I think all of my friends and family just assumed that I would leave my husband. And if it weren’t for Jesus, I would have. But, like you, I knew I had to do all that I possibly could to make our marriage work. I knew that only God could redeem my marriage. And while I couldn’t trust my husband I could trust my God. During the few weeks that we were separated my husband also accepted Christ. (We had both grown up in church and thought we had given our lives to Christ as teenagers, but we had no real idea of what that meant.) God can resurrect even the dirtiest, messiest situations if we will just relinquish our control and turn it over to Him. Thank you again Aimee for sharing your story and your verse. Mind if we claim it as our’s as well? 😉
Oh the picture battle! How well I understand this struggle! 🙂
But seriously, my husband is amazing. He works so hard at a very stressful job so that I can stay home with our baby. And then on the weekends he spends tons of time with baby and even gives me a break for a nap!! He is so wonderful; a true gift from the Lord.
A man that will let a mama nap is a blessing indeed!! 😉
My husband works so hard, sometimes for many hours a week, so that I can be a stay at home mom. Thank you for the reminders to focus on the good, the lovely, the admirable. I remind my kids, and I need to remind myself, too. 🙂
My amazing husband goes to work everyday despite the pain he has in his feet, he also, without fail, makes me herbal tea every night carefully picking out the flavor. It’s different every night 🙂 He is such a blessing from God that unconditionally loves me.
I love that your husband makes your evening tea Nancy! My husband has coffee ready for me every morning – and he gets both our boys up and ready on school days! I always have to remind myself of that at night when I am frustrated with the bedtime routine of baths, books, and blankets.
Thank you Tara for sharing, oh how I can relate? My husband and I have battled many a picture hanging! As I have grown in my walk with Jesus, the Holy Spirit has helped me find ways to control myself, and be thankful for such a wonderful, good, God loving husband.
What a great read… As I read, I could totally relate.. Being in my second marriage, I can truly say that marriage is definitely a challenge. This time around, I try to let go and let God, way more than I did the first time.. The fact that I have completely committed my life to Christ, has everything to do with it.. 10 years and counting, and we very seldom argue… Thank God!
I can say that the last discussion we had was about this awesome new coffee pot and coffee grinder I purchased… When my husband told me that there was something ” wrong” with the coffee.. That it was weak… I said “Ok, Honey”with great offense…
I was just trying to save money on coffee… And I hurried off to work… That evening, he gave me money to buy scan of coffee… lol… Later he was hesitant to tell me that the coffee I had made for him in the “new pot” wasn’t hot when he poured it from his thermos, in his cup, at his job site… This morning, I made the coffee for his thermos in his regular ” old” pot.. With assurance that he’d get a fresh, hot cup of coffee, whiles at work today… Yes, it’s the little things…
I am not married but this happens with me also. I call it my demandingness and the Lord is working on me. Thank you for your post. It was very helpful.
I can sometimes forget to be grateful for the amazing man God has blessed me with. Sometimes the 2 inches matter to me too much! Thanks for this beautiful reminder! ❤️
Praying I’m sensitive to the Holy Spirit, gentle in my words and actions, and always grateful for my blessings!
My husband is AMAZING! However, this did not happen without some growing pains (which we still have but not as bad). He does almost everything on so many days. I have chronic migraines, I am out of commission most days of any given week. So, my sweet, loving husband takes on both roles. He takes & picks up kids from school. He takes them to church, (if we are unable to go as a family) karate, birthday parties- you name it! He cooks dinner, he cleans the kitchen. God has granted me a self less man! Thank you for ALL you do Paul!
My husband is praiseworthy in that he puts the needs of his family before his own.
Your message hit home today. My husband and I had just got into a little fight just like you described. I did pray during it & decided to give up my pride and let it go. It was hard not to say anymore & I was still hurt & mad. A little later he came up to me & changed his mind on what we were fighting over. God answered my prayer!
Letting go of my pride has been so hard for me Janice!! But, thank God, I am getting better at laying it aside and so is my husband. We began our marriage as two of the most stubborn, hard-headed, willful people ever! But as we have given our lives over to Christ and allowed the Holy Spirit to speak into our hearts God has begun His work to cleanse and purify out hearts. And I have found that when I give in and step aside my husband is more likely to do the same. Thank God for answered prayers!
I am married but he is in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. What is admirable about him is throughout this whole ordeal he has clung to God and stuck true to his faith. There have been horrible circumstances thrown at us and He is staying true to his beliefs. I admire this quality so much and long for the day he will be back with our family.
I am working on appreciating my husband more too, I feel I say thank you more often and I think he appreciates it.
My husband is a hard worker. He does his best in the weekends to fix things around the house. I am so blessed to have him in my life. He does a very good job in disciplining the girls with his calm and sweet personality which I lack and that complement us. I thank the Lord and bless him everyday.
Well, I am not married and having to ‘shout out’ to myself is truly not the norm…..I would have to say my earnestness/eagerness/longingness to be right with God ALWAYS. Tall order. Thankful He is a forgiving, loving, all faithful Father!
Love the Philippians references ….and this fabulous opportunity to win something for ME.
xoxo
I feel so blessed by your timely message! Too often I put my desires above my husband’s when I should prioritize the strengthening of our marriage. It is so easy to boil about a dish in the sink when I should remember how he supports my career and hobbies, cares for my elderly family members, and even fields tech problems for my mom at all hours. I am so grateful to have such a man.
Me too Amanda!! I’m with you on the dish in the sink! I mean, the dishwasher is RIGHT THERE!! I am so thankful that I am able to take those thoughts captive much more quickly and more easily that I once was. I’m so thankful to have the help of the Holy Spirit to help me focus on the truly important things as opposed by allowing myself to fume over a dirty dish.
I am what I call a recovering perfectionist and after MANY years of marriage and finally repenting and obeying God, I am finding that with God’s help to keep my mouth guarded, those little fights are becoming less. Why did I have to go around the mountain so many times before listening to my God. Because I seemed to think I was the master controller…oh wow, don’t do that!!! Reaps bad things. Praise God I am listening to His Holy Spirit in me and appreciating the good in my husband. It’s so true: Ask God to change me and he usually fixes the issues with my husband or helps me let go. So happy for you to learn this at your young age. I am making up time with God’s help.
Sweet Blessings to you. Funny, we are both tech challenged and would love to use the iTunes music…that is where geeky adult son comes in!
Thank you Tara for allowing God to use you! I am so touched by how he used this to remind me (as he has a couple times this week) of Philippians 4:8. Oh, how I can relate to you and your story! After 35 years of marriage God is still using the Holy Spirit to challenge me to be a godly wife!!!
God bless you and your family!
I am in love with my hubby!
As I read the line about extending the grace I’ve been given it occurs to me that I find it difficult to extend grace because I am most often so unwilling to actually receive grace I’ve been given…
FunnyStory! I know when I stay in the word – especially when days are tough there seems to be a calm come over me that wasn’t there in the past – God’s truth does work wonders on my little brain in my head…he helps to silence it and gives me great verses on those days to calm them and stay in his truth.
My hubby has such a servant spirit .
Thankful for seeing how God can turn things around ❤️
My husband is truly selfless. I am so grateful that he is always seeking out ways to do something for me and our two boys. He really does look to fulfill our needs or wants before his own.
Every wedding anniversary, I give my husband a song that best describes our love during that past year. This would be awesome to use iTunes to download many of those songs. We have been married 25 years so the cassettes at the beginning of our marriage are useless.
What an awesome tradition Lori!! You do need the itunes gift card!! Congratulations on 25 years!! How cool to have a soundtrack of your lives together!
Oh how we’ve had those same arguments at our home. I am learning to let God put his hand over my mouth so I am careful with the words I speak
Oh I struggle with my words! It’s so hard to not let he harsh things I think come out of my mouth. But I do appreciate the way my husband encourages me to do tough things, as well as encourages our boys to be the very best!
Tara,
What a blessing to see Christ in the center of your home and marriage. Aaron and I grew up like brother and sister and so I am blessed to see my near brother marry you. I pray God continues to bless you in your marriage and glorify Him through your love.
❤️
Thank you Becky!! Having grown up with him then you know how stubborn and hard-headed he can be, right? 😉 Well, that is one area in which we are equally matched. 😉 But, through God’s help, we are both leaning to lay ourselves aside and I am so thankful. It’s so refreshing to be in a marriage and not a competition. Thanks for reading, near sister-in-law! 😉
My husband is able to see the big picture, which is something I struggle with. While his questions about “why” “what about” and “what if” might make me want to scream and pull my hair sometimes, they have also saved me a lot of aggravation over having things not turn out right in the 30+ years of our marriage. He can come off as a know-it-all or even a control freak, but it really is just his way of making sure the outcome is not only what’s wanted but what’s best as well so that at the end of it I’m happy. He’s a great complement to my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants personality.
Thank you for sharing. Transparent, relatable, and oh-so-needed reminder. I love my husband!
This is exactly where I am at this morning(I didn’t get this email til I got to work).
Thank you for writing this! It is just what I need today! My husband is a hard worker and keeps his cool with parenting issues, when I totally loose it.
Loved reading this, Tara 🙂 We joke in our home that if a picture needs hanging today, I should do it. If it can wait a week for Todd to measure, level, measure, level, measure, and level again then he should do it 🙂
My husband’s willingness to follow God’s call – even when it’s unpopular – is one of the things I admire most about him. He’s pretty fabulous, so I could go on and on, but it’s truly Jesus within us that makes us fabulous together.
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