{If you are just beginning this journey, this is where we started.}
One of my biggest fears on this journey of asking Jesus to interrupt this everyday life is that I will start writing posts with themes like: “How I found Jesus in my chocolate ice-cream today.”
And if I do, please call me out. You have my permission.
But last night I think I had an “interruption moment” while I was putting my youngest daughter to bed.
She giggles and pulls my face close to hers. “Mommy, I have a joke.” I smile and say, “Okay, let me hear it.” More giggles, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
I play along, “Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe to count his toes?” She laughs like this is the most hilarious joke ever told, “No silly! To save the WORLD!”
I’m pretty sure we have established the answer to this age-old joke in our house. So, I’m puzzled how she came up with this answer.
My soul is so hungry for God to interrupt; this non-sense joke causes me to pause.
I’m crossing this complicated road and unlike the chicken, I don’t just want to get to the other side. Maybe what I really want is… “To save the world!”
Late last night Kris [my husband] comes home from work. I’m anxious to talk to him. Because secretly I’m praying God will tell him we are supposed to do something crazy like start that medical clinic in Africa.
We dance through our typical nightly conversation:
Me: “How was work?”
Him: “Good.”
Him: “What did you do today?”
Me: “Oh just… working through this insanity.”
He smiles and flips through the mail like this is a normal conversation.
Me: “So did God say anything to you today?”
He looks up from the mail puzzled, “Uh… no.”
[sighs from me]
Him: “What’s wrong?”
Me: “God is messing with me and I hoped He was messing with you too!”
Him: “Nope.”
The realization that this interrupted issue is mine [not ours] is becoming clearer.
But the fact is this: today the laundry didn’t get done and the world will continue to cycle. But I know somewhere on this planet tonight there is perhaps a person that I could have helped through something… a “saving the world” type situation.
Sure I put a Band-Aid on a toe, comforted a tween with friend gossip issues and folded ministry letters at work.
I do see the importance of these things. But why do I feel so empty in them?
I’m missing something and I hope you as the reader see that I know this. This process of working through this is painful. I’m allowing myself to verbally say things I’ve hidden in my soul.
Do I have the perception of a life interrupted by God wrong?
And, is it possible to live a radically interrupted life for God in the midst of this mundane?
These are the questions troubling me today.
So today I turn to you as we journey through this together. What do you think?
14 Comments
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Dear Nicki … to much of what you have written these last few days, could’ve come from my own heart. I have had a similar struggle in the past, and even in the present at times. I’m not sure if you have read it, but this post REALLY helped me to accept my current “mission” in the mundane things of life … http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-as-a-mission-field … I still have trouble at times. I mean, I went to Bible College when I was 18, because I was restless and wanted to do something “great” for God … I hoped i would end up in Ukraine teaching needy children or Africa helping the poor. It especially hits hard when my sister has had 3 separate trips to Uganda and is a nurse training to be a midwife, hoping to go back and serve again. But right now, He has me here, with 4 little ones at home. For me, this quote from the article hit me SO hard “It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.” I hope this article blesses you today, in some small way … and I so appreciate your honesty, it is a beautiful thing and nice to know others feel the same way about their life. Love and prayers as you sort through this with the Lord.
Nina from Queensland, Australia 🙂
Hi Nina all the way from Australia. 🙂
I appreciate your honesty and sharing this is a struggle for you too. I can completely identify with your situation and I’m thankful you are finding some peace and resolution with your sister while she is able to “go”.
Thanks so much for sending this article to me. I just read through it and I agree with most of it and much of it did challenge me, especially the part you mentioned above.
I struggled with while reading it a little because she makes it seem like its just a simple perspective change that can switch our hearts. I’m not convinced its that easy, which is why I’m working this journey out.
Maybe at the end I will see that it is, but I’m feeling like its much more than that.
I also am not sure if this desire for more from God is from “discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment” like she said.
Thanks for letting me walk this out with you. 🙂
Hi Nicki, I know where your coming from believe me. Been there, done that and bought the t-shirt.
I have my medical benefits with the VA. My practitioner is a female Physicians Assistant and she is very good at what she does. She also is a devout christian. We get to share the Lord and always pray together before we leave. She has invited me to her chu.”rch several times and I met her husband. I have becme quite fond of my sister in Christ. one day in praying for her I said to the Lord ”its a shame she couldnt have gone all the way and become an MD.” The Lord said to me ”she is a physicians assistant because that is where she will have the most impact”
Yesterday I said we are where we are because of Gods will. The Lord has also put us where we are at the present time becauswe that is where we will have the most impact, perhaps we have to stop looking at things we think are mundane or trivial and realize to the Lord they have great worth.
Joseph, I love how God said this to you. “She’s a physicians assistant because that is where she will have the most impact.” And I agree, we do have to change our perspective… that’s what I hope to accomplish on this journey. Thanks for leaving these thoughts today, they are very well received in my heart.
Thank you for your continued honesty. I don’t really have much to say in response to your questions, as they’d just be my opinions from very little experience in life these 29 yrs, but this verse did come to mind, so I wanted to share.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29:13
The Lord has been speaking to me lately about the difference in seeking direction and purpose versus seeking Him (how it can very subtly become two separate things). The same way we can start to do stuff ‘for God’ instead of ‘with Him, empowered by the Holy Spirit.’ So, my personal take-away from this today was that He promises that we will find Him when we keep seeking Him, which may mean sometimes wading through our expectations of what we thought ‘finding Him’ was going to look like and pressing on until we really do find Him. Maybe it’s similar to Joseph’s prayer for his assistant – a revelation that it’s a different kind of place or position than we previously thought, where we will be the most fulfilled and effective.
Anyways, that’s my very uneducated response. I just want to encourage you to keep asking the questions and keep seeking. I think that’s key to all of this.
Jenny, first, your response is beautiful. I love what God showed you in this and its speaking to me tonight. I completely see this process as God maximizing us in the places we are too. And I agree, we just have to keep going through this process. So glad to have you apart of it.
Hi Nicki,
I feel like the “missing something” part is something I feel so stongly. I have a dear friend who is moving to Asia in a few days to a country where missionaries are not accepted. It is very dangerous work. I figured, like most, this work would be something I would do one day. In no way would I feel ready for that position. I don’t know if your view of this is off but maybe we’re missing God in this place. We’re at a place where we aren’t fully trusting him on what we think we should be doing? We want answers when all we really should be doing is seeking him. But what does that mean? To seek Him. To go to church or read your Bible and not expect an experience, but just to meet God? I, like some others, could mistake your blog for my own the past few days. You’re putting words to feelings we are all having. Stay Blessed oxo
Jessica, I like these thoughts… I think I might touch on this in tomorrow’s blog post. Might reference this comment if that’s ok with you? 🙂
Sure!
Ooh – exciting and frustrating! I wonder what He has in store for you.
I haven’t got any good advice other than that I am sure that God gives you these longings for a reason. If He has started something in you, He’ll finish it.
He won’t let you down.
Hx
Hi Helen, I think your advice is perfect. 🙂 I believe this is all for a reason. Thanks for letting me process this with you.
Nick- praying you find that interruption from God!
For me I think finding that interruption where I find God is actually finding time to be still. To be still in the busyness of motherhood with four kids is tough. House work, meals to plan, blah blah blah is hard to be still. Where I make myself find that time He seems to meet me there.
Today I made myself sit outside and listen to Christian music while I watched the kiddos play. My 2 year old in his backward purple Dora bike helmet came running over to give me a purple cross he found in the weeds. I asked him “what is this” and he replied “it’s Jesus and He loves you mom”
I think I found Him today:)
Could this interruption thing happen when we slow down and be still?
I don’t know but I’m going to try and make it more a part of my day!
Gods blessings on your weekend Nicki!
Julie, I love this so much. It blessed me to hear about this interruption from Jesus in your life today. I believe yes, we do need to slow down. The clutter from all the chaos is what clouds us from hearing Him. I’m challenged by your thoughts tonight… going to soak them in a little more. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this.
Hi, Nicki! I have exact opposite challenge you’re facing, yet I still relate to this very much. I struggle with letting God interrupt my life, but I struggle with obeying when he tells me to get out of my comfort zone. I have OCD and any interruption in my life that I can’t plan for stresses me out to the point of anxiety depending on how big the interruption is. I don’t relate to your longing to “go.” I don’t think God is calling me to go overseas, either. My heart is not in that place. I think he challenges me daily to step a little further out of my safe comfort zone and just be relevant to the things around me. Even that I struggle with. A lot. I get caught up in my own plans and forget to be still. Sometimes I’ll go days or weeks until I remember to slow down and listen for God. When I finally do, I realize I feel awful about everything. If I’ve accomplished alot of ‘things’, the success feels empty. If a lot of things haven’t worked out like I hoped, I get frustrated over wasted time and effort. I’m so bad about trusting God and letting go, but even when I don’t feel like being still and I do it anyways, I feel God. He speaks to us when we’re still. To answer your question, I know it’s possible. I know the things God calls me to do outside of my comfort zone (even like talking to my neighbors or changing plans at the last minute to help someone out) seem mundane to lots of people, but they are huge steps for me to overcome.
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